has anyone had to see a specialist about their toddler's behaviour?

[juicychops]

My ds 22months has been reffered to a specialist about his behaviour... i asked him to be reffered. When he is good he is fantastic very loving and lively and into everything. But he has tantrums, which i know is normal for his age, but they are so so over the top and he will flip over the tiniest think.

for example, we were in iceland the onther day and he was perfectly happy playing whilst we were in the queue. The woman behind us said hello to him in a very calm sweet voice he just threw himself face down and started screaming. There is no reasoning with him. i had to pick him up kicking and screaming then spent 5 mins getting him in his pushchair. He then screamed for a whole hour!
This is what it is like up to 15 times a day on a bad day and maybe 4 or 5 on a very good day. It is killing me slowly and i cant cope. Whenever he feels like it he will throw a paddy but its not just a moan or winge, its constant screaming and throwing himself face down or sometimes backwards banging his head on the floor. Its awful.

just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences and what did the specialist recommend?

i know a lot of you are gunna think im exagurating and being way over the top with the specialist, but im not stupid to know that his behaviour is not normal by any means. His dad has no contact and i have very little help from my family so i am basically on my own

Hi juicychops, my ds was a major tantrum guy too from a similar age, but we just ran with it for ages (some of it I didn't know about because he was at nursery). He got referred when he started school, because they thought he might be autistic, I didn't find it particularly helpful, and it's not until very recently that he has been found to be dyslexic, and probably very frustrated (he has mostly stopped with the major league screamming paddies). On the other hand I have a friend whose son was quite similar, and he is now getting help from the CAMHS service. Good luck with whatever happens, I hope you get the support you need.

thanks nooka. what are the signs of dyslexia? I know he would be too young to recognise them yet but just so i know and have something to think about for the future if he doesn't improve

Generally dyslexia is unlikely to show up prior to school (as it's all about reading and writing). I guess what I'm trying to say is that your ds may not have a major problem - he might just be feeling very frustrated at the moment, and be expressing that with his tantrums. That doesn't make it any better to live with, but don't get too worried before you have to. Either way the earlier you either learn some coping mechanisms, get support, or if there is an underlying cause, get the right sort of help lined up, the better it will be for both of you. So don't feel bad about asking for a referral. I would recommend posting on the special needs boards about similar experiences - you will find lots of people who know all about the various specialists, who would be able to tell you much more than me (although personally I found the physio and OT good, the paediatricians useless, and the educational psyschologist fantastic). The other thing, which you will almost certainly be asked, is whether he only behaves like this with you - does he spend time at nursery or with any other carer, and if so is he similar with them (ds was always worse with me than dh or our nanny, but saved most of his worse paddies for nursery)

When Ds went to pre school they also noticed his outbursts and reffered him to an educational psychologist. she thought he may have been on the spectrum, they then got lots of other epople involved to give advice on how best to deal with him. people like behavioural support, Senco, SALT etc

we have now pretty much reached the conclusion that he is HFA. its taken a long time as his first refferal was at 23 months, he is now 6.

i thin your right that if your finding it more difficult than most other parents then get it checked out. if there is a problem then you will be getting the help sooner rather than later. if its all fine then at least you know he will grow out of it.

at the very least it will put your mind to rest

Just have to add- have you had his eyesight/hearing checked? My dd was exactly as you described, she wold have two hour long screaming tantrums which only stopped when she fell asleep through exhaustion. Often she would wake up and carry on where she had left off! It turned out she had extremely poor vision, so with the correct glasses the problem was solved. Might be worth looking into if you haven't already.

Hi Juicychops,

It's well worth having a good look at your son's diet too.

Our DS2 had severe behavioural problems until we discovered he had allergies to wheat, dairy and sweeteners.

He's also dyslexic too, but this didn't have anything to do with his behaviour.