Naughty 2 year old driving me nuts!

[MrsOs]

My ds is so naughty with me all the time.. when i try to get him dressed he is running away and grabbing toys etc i try and talk sternly but he just laughs so i end up yelling. Its the same with brushing his teeth, putting his coat on or changing his bum. If you tell him off he goes into overdrive being naughty throwing things and trying to break things. When i got home this afternoon daddy said he had been good all day, i got in the door and within 5 minutes he had smacked me in the face and then grabbed his reward chart that was delivered today and screwed it up. Then at bedtime he just wouldnt lay down he was jumping up and down and laughing and he just wasnt listening to me. My husband came to take over and got him to sleep... He is much more strict than me and he seems to get him to listen more than me. When we are out its like a wrestling match getting him to go in his buggy. Its all got a bit much for me now and im just getting increasingly angry with myself that i just dont seem to be able to control him. Im at my wits end with this terrible behaviour. He goes tonursery 4 days a week and is as good as gold there. Please tell me how to get him to behave. I think i am acknowledging his bad behaviour too much. I try the naughty step but he wont stay on it.

Hi, I think you've hit the nail on the head there, saying your husband is more strict. It seems there is a huge difference in how he behaves for you. He is wanting the fuss from you, whereas, when your husband deals with him, it sounds like he nips it in the bud straight away.
Have you tried taking something away from him, that he really likes, when he's naughty, or really concentrating on the good behaviour, praising him more? Really try not to get wound up, act calmly, say no firmly, if he carries on creating ignore him.
There are some things that you should ignore/not rise to, this way he's less likely to carry on if he's not getting the attention. But things like hitting you, no you shouldn't ignore that. Moaning, crying, stamping feet, laughing at you, don't give him the attention. Sounds a bit contradictory now don't I?! Hope you get the idea.

I used to have stickers to get my son in his car seat at that age, I was pregnant & couldn't fight him. If he got in he got a sticker, kept in the car where he could see them. I did not go anywhere until he was safely in his seat.

When he head butted me I walked out the room, he never did it again.
I find I pick my battles and that has continued, how important is it that he does X? If very, then be firm and do not be distracted, no matter how long it takes. If not important then, let it go, have some fun and silliness with him, giggles are better for both of you than tantrums.

Hope that helps

We have lots of fun together, i think thats the problem im more of the fun parent so i when i need him to do something he just thinks mummy Isnt serious. I try and change my voice to serious but i just end up shouting at him and yes i do pick my battles as really dont want to fight with him all the time.

Wear him out during the day. Lots of excersise

Turn getting changed into a game. He's a dog and your his master. Or tell him you are a different one if his school teachers every night and give instructions pretending to be one of them.

Also shouting/saying no lots is going to bring out the worst in some. Try saying yes - tell him when he can have/do something. For example 'can I have a biscuit' - 'yes you can have one after tea'

Distraction. Rather then trying to stop him running off, interest him in something

Lastly, tell him about what's happening next so he knows what to expect. You can always outline something exciting to move him along. So 'first we need to get changed, then can you guess what's after that? Yes it's ..'

Also give him two options so he has some control 'would you like the orange pyjamas or the green ones'.

Shouting is ineffectual. Have eye to eye contact, be a few feet, keep a low firm calm voice.

I think you need to lower your expectations a bit. He's only 2 he's not 'naughty'. Children test the ones they know won't reject them, take it as a sign that he feels secure with you and knows you'll love him no matter what. You've had some good advice above like turning things into a game and saying yes rather than no. Tell him what to do rather than what not to do ie stay close to mummy instead of don't run away. Dd was an angel two year old but ds is soooo different so you have my sympathies. Try not to get angry though.