Please help, very early riser

[SleepWorshipper]

Hi. My youngest DS is 3 years and 4 months. He is in his own room and sleeps fine in his bed from when I settle him at 7/7:30 until 4:30 or so. Every morning. When he wakes, he goes downstairs and raids the fridge for yoghurt. If there's no yoghurt he'll go for something else, and if there's nothing in the fridge he'll open cupboards and leave a trail of food (yoghurt, butter, orange peel and segments, sandwich crumbs so far this week) over the sofa and carpet. I don't hear him get up ( he's worked out that if he's noisy I'll hear him, get up and get him back to bed). He'll wake his older siblings at about 5 or 5:30 which is when I do hear him (not every morning, sometimes he's quiet) and I'll get him back to bed, but he rarely goes back to sleep. If I fall asleep (I often do because this has been going for 4 or 5 months and I am tired especially that early) he'll sneak out of his room, so I fall asleep against his door.

He hates having a day time nap, and if he does it's usually cut short by afternoon school run, and he has never slept in the pushchair, especially after being woken to be put into it. So he is exhausted before 7. Even before then he is too tired to eat much. Pushing back his bed time is difficult because by then if you take your eyes of him for more than a minute, he can fall asleep. He has a Gro-clock, he loves it but pays no attention to it in the morning. He knows he shouldn't be doing this, and says so whenever we ask him about it. Sticker chart hasn't worked. Promising an extra special breakfast if he come and wakes me up when his gro-clock turns into the sun hasn't worked.

Thins we have discounted (for now): lock on fridge - short of a padlock, probably won't work for long (older 2 have always figured out every child lock we've had in a a matter of days)and we'd have to lock all the food cupboards as well.
Lock on kitchen door - would prevent older 2 from helping themselves to drinks/breakfast in the morning, won't prevent early rising. Would have to be key or padlock again.
Lock on his door - older sibling's suggestion! We don't agree with it in principle (can't articulate why, just feels wrong) but beginning to wonder if it's not that bad really .... Youngest is still in nappies, so he doesn't need to be able to go to the toilet.

Not buying yoghurt - means the rest of us don't' get to eat it either, and he finds something else.

We are thinking of trying to leave him a snack in his room, making big thing of it, in a lunch box, he can choose some breakfasty items.

Does anyone have any other suggestions? I am exhausted and fed up of cleaning up yoghurt (or whatever else). Older DC affected by him waking them up early. And thank you for reading the essay! I've tried to put in the full story, probably forgotten something

OP I saw this post and you remind me of me! I am in the same boat, well sort of, not quite so extreme as you maybe. My DD, 4yrs, has been waking at 'crazy early o'clock' since she became night-time toilet trained about a year ago. She wakes asking for the toilet (even though she is totally confident and able to do it herself and we have repetitively asked her to just go without asking). After toilet, it's back to the bedroom to wake up her younger brother and get toys out, fight, sing, come to us to demand tv, the list goes on...

It is an exhausting life with a child like this. We are currently working on ways to keep DD at least calm in the early morning, if not asleep. If I had a child helping themselves to the fridge thanks god DD hasn't caught on to this tactic yet I think I would block the way there, maybe try a stair gate on his bedroom door? Or try one parent sleeping on the floor in his room for a week or so with him, to sort of be there when he tries to make his morning getaway...

I know you have probably done this to death with no avail but don't give up on talking to him about how it negatively affects everyone else in the family and it is not something which is a good thing to do. Maybe tell him a story with a moral outcome about a child doing something similar and emphasise the behaviour you want to see improving, this has helped me in the past.

Good luck with it, I hope things improve for you soon

We had an early riser and a friend told me to try and train her tummy rather than her behaviour. So we gave high protein snacks as late as poss before bed time (fromage frais, nuts, peanut butter on crackers) and then offered water only, if she woke early, followed by a big breakfast at the time we decided was acceptable for wake-up (7am in our house). Water can be warm in a sippy cup and we used the tv for distraction as the first couple of weeks were tough. However it worked fairly quickly and within a month we had 7 o'clock starts, now 7-30 to 8 in time for starting school, and much improved evenings. I'm sure you could get some kind of fridge lock if the kitchen door can't be kept shut. Now that she's settled with this routine the gro clock works but before she would just ignore it. Good luck - constant early starts are shattering!

Thanks for the replies.

I've tried sleeping on his floor, to block the door. Maybe didn't try for long enough to break the habit, he went straight back to early morning fridge raids. I have no faith in stair gates - my eldest used to pile up his bedding to get over the one on his door! The noise might wake me though....

We've pointed out that he is eating other people's food, and by the way he hides in the morning when we get up, he knows he's in trouble. I've done the natural consequence of giving the older 2 breakfast and pointing out he's already had his (and quite often theirs ...) but have to balance that with him needing to eat so he knows he'll get a snack a bit later. He is extremely contrite, and always promises that the next day he won't get food, but his good intentions never beat those am hunger pangs.

I agree about training his tummy - I'm sure he is hungry in the mornings which sets him off on his quest. The problem is, he is so tired by the evening that getting food into him any later than 5 just doesn't happen. Not even yoghurt which he'd walk over hot coals to get any other time of day. So I think breaking this cycle might help. Just a matter of figuring out how ...

Is he thirsty? Does he have water available to him throughout the night?

I know someone who left cheese and oatcakes by the side of all her kids beds for first thing in the morning. She had 4 dc and it staved off the hunger till she was able to get to the breakfast part of her morning routine.

Sounds like your little man needs more calories before he goes to bed. Fortified drinks?

Leave some food by his bed?

I would still go with the stairgate on the door, may help you to hear him if nothing else.

I would also think he is very tired indeed as that is not much sleep. My DSs run an hour under average and they sleep/slept for about 10 hours a night at this age.

You may find that he is waking so early because he is overtired - so I would try for a few days (and you need to give him several days to catch up) putting him to bed as early as you can manage.

He will probably still wake at 4.30am, but he will have had more sleep. Once he is well rested you can start to push bedtime back out again and he may just give you a little longer in the morning. Has he always been an "average amount" sleeper - or more or less? They seems to keep to the same pattern, and that is what you will be looking for.

At his age, I wouldn't bother trying to get him to nap - early bedtime will be better.

DS2 sounds similar, not that he goes downstairs for a fridge raid, but that he wakes up and instantly gets up (he goes and climbs on his older brother at 5.30am). He too promises that he won't, but cannot help himself. In fact one morning I watched him - he literally opened his eyes and was out of bed - almost like they have no control over it.....

Can you put a gate on his door. We have a brilliant one on DTs door that they cannot open. Although just mean he shouts for you at the door at 430 which is kind of where we are although they normally make it to 530.

I agree with the lack of sleep, I don't think he getting enough, he gets very grumpy too often and can just crash some days.

Food by the bed is the next tactic of choice. A few nights sleeping in his room has left me exhausted, and I'm wary of replacing one habit with another that's as hard to bear long term!

Will have a look into other door gates. We did have some that worked by pressure, no permanent fittings, which he could pull out so they are no use. He pulls boxes out of his storage unit to use as steps to get to higher shelves already, I think he'd just climb over a fixed one ... I'm now imagining a full height cast iron garden gate, maybe a bit extreme

jazz what you've seen your DS do sounds exactly like mine! I think he goes from asleep to awake and out of bed in about 1 second, there's no time for him to think "I should stay in my room", he's already downstairs by then.

Thank you for all the ideas. We've been trying different things for months, and so far nothing has broken the cycle, and it's getting worse in terms of food raiding and lack of sleep. I think it's a question of finding the right tactic to break the cycle and then keeping on top of things until a new habit is established. But being permanently tired doesn't help me come up with new ideas, so I'm grateful for any suggestion!

I agree with jazz. I'd offer his tea a bit earlier say 4.30pm & then put him to bed at 6 or 6.30. Give a high protein snack before bed if he doesnt eat tea well. He sounds like he needs more sleep. If he is better rested he will likely eat his tea better then he is less likely to go on the hunt for food in the early morning. I would def try this tactic before resorting to stairgates etc. Good luck.

Don't envy you, nightmare being woken so early every day! I would definitely leave him a snack in his room for when he wakes up & then maybe set the alarm on the groclock for getting up time? Or even leave him a snack in your room so he can come in & have it, then snuggle in with you for a while? That must be better than your other kids being woken so early or you having to sit against his door! Good luck, he must be absolutely knackered being awake from 4.30am-7pm!

Instead of a stairgate on his door could you try a chair wedged under his door handle so he can't open the door? I know this sounds extreme and I will probably be criticised here for suggesting but when we made the transition from cot to bed with DS1 he would get up out of bed a lot so we put the chair under his door handle on the landing side which meant he couldn't escape. We did this for a month or so until we had trained him with his Gro clock (which does take quite a bit of effort). A year later he still wakes early (5.30 /6ish) but unless he needs a wee he is very good at staying in his room until the sun comes up on his clock. We reward him for this with a coin for his piggy bank.

I know the chair thing won't be for everyone but it really worked for us. I feel for you with the fridge raiding - mine is food obsessed and hungry all the time so we still have a stairgate on the kitchen door which my friends think is mad at 3 years 5 months but otherwise he'd be in there eating anything he can get his hands on!

Hope it resolves itself soon.

This might be a bit odd but have you considered a 6.30 bedtime?

I presume a latch on the kitchen door low enough for older children to open but too high for him wouldn't be good enough? You want to keep him in his room presumably. What about a stable door to his bedroom?

This is very familiar as my 4 year old DS has been getting up at 4:15 each morning for the last month. We used to think 5:30 was early but it seems a luxury now!!!
We have a stair gate at the top of the stairs so he can't go downstairs. We haven't tried high protein snacks so will try that and training g his tummy. DS is also just about dry at night but always wakes us to go with him. We limit drinks after half five to just water and make sure he drinks well during the day. So not a lot of other solutions but lots of empathy!!

They make taller door gates, usually find them at pet stores as intended for larger / bouncier dogs to stop them ping over standard height ones