DD has just started her new school in January after a tough descision to remove her from her last one. She is high-functioning Aspergers (which they are aware of) and has always had difficulty controlling her temper. In her last school she became completely isolated due to a lack of support and (I felt) a very anxious teacher who seemed to see her as a problem child.
At home she rarely loses her temper as we listen carefully to her and approach situations in a methodical way, but in school there is obviously less time for that and little arguments start up between her and another child and quickly get out of control when attention is elsewhere.
Last week was her fourth week and she had a glowing report, saying how she is starting to settle in and is being more cooperative/friendly etc. Then I was told yesterday at pickup that she had pushed a girl and called her a "freak". Both my H and I had a talk with her last night about behaviour, and then again before drop off this morning I talked to her about the use of mean words and she seemed to get it.
Then at drop-off her teacher told me that she'd had 2 complaints from parents yesterday (!) about DD, one about her language (she doesn't swear but she does use a lot of American slang) and the other about her 'flailing at' another girl who had told her to concentrate ion her work. Her teacher asked me to "have a talk with her" about appropriate langauage and hitting etc and I left feeling utterly wretched again and just like I'd felt at her old school.
Why do they not understand that "just having a talk with her" doesn't work? 