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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Food Help!

11 replies

ashleyld · 05/02/2015 08:25

My daughter is turning 10 next week and I'm about to explode with frustration. She has no self control when it comes to food. If she knows it's there she wants to eat it. I've always told her if shes hungry she can help her self to fruit but if she wants anything else to ask first incase dinner etc is coming up. Half the time I don't even think it's hunger that has her looking through the cupboards. This morning for example... I baked a cake last night, woke up to find her eating the quarter of the cake she'd cut for herself. And she knew she shouldn't be doing it as she tried to chuck the bit of cake she had in the bin to hide the evidence when she heard me coming. Despite many many conversations with her about things like that. I'm so wary about pushing to many buttons as I don't want to her to get a complexion about food. I try to explain that there is a time and a place for food like that and breakfast is not a good time for cake. And to be honest I'm baffled that she thought that she could get away with it... I mean how was I not going to notice that a quarter of the cake was missing?
She's not overweight in any way or form.
But I'm at a loss at what to do. Any help and advice would be appreciated.

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NickyEds · 05/02/2015 09:28

Has she been weighed recently? If she has and she's not at all overweight in any form then I think perhaps she does have self control when it comes to food and is regulating what she needs. Eating cake for breakfast seems more of a "naughtyness" issue than specifically a food one, although I'm sure there are plenty of 10 year olds who would pinch a piece!
I think, given that she's a healthy weight, you should tread carefully around this. It's easy to say that you don't want to give her a complexion but having "many many conversations" about it (and she was clearly ashamed about eating it) might do just that.

Tanaqui · 05/02/2015 09:30

If she isn't overweight might she be hungry? They can grow a lot at that age. Could you up her portions at meal times? Offer filling snacks like cheese and crackers too.

Davsmum · 05/02/2015 09:54

Is this a recent thing? If it is it may be a sign of comfort eating so perhaps there is something going on at school she is worried about?
From what you say, it wasn't just the cake incident so something is causing it.
Try to find out if she is worried about anything but if it continues seek advice from the doctor or Nurse.

Original poster

ashleyld · 05/02/2015 10:13

The cake was just the latest in a long line of exploits. As it happened this morning and was still on my mind I used it as the example. She is not over weight. And I actually did what you suggested a few weeks ago and upped her portion size, thinking along the same lines that she maybe going through another growth spurt. She is constantly asking for any goodies she knows we keep. This is how it usually goes...
She gets in from school and the rule in my house is no sweets etc before dinner..
"Mum, I'm hungry can I have < Cake, crisps, biscuits...> ?"
"If you are hungry grab some fruit. You can have after dinner."
"I'm not hungry" And off she goes.
Several occasions shes gone into the kitchen telling me shes making her self a drink or grabbing some fruit and then I find her with a chocolate up her sleeve or she's eaten it whilst in the kitchen. I never tell her that kind of food is a no no I try and explain that these are nice things to have after dinner or as a treat.
Maybe it is naughtyness I don't know. When I ask her why she does it when its obvious she knows she shouldn't have I get shoulder shrugs and I don't knows. She told me this morning that she knew it was wrong and that she didn't know why she did it.
And I think the thing that annoys me the most is that if I hadn't of caught her munching on cake this morning and realised what had happened while she was at school. She would swear till she was blue in the face that she hadn't eaten it.
I try not to shout when I discover she's up to no good. As she's a child who loves all things logical me and my other half usually sit down with her and talk it through so she can reason it all out. But this is one thing that no matter how many conversations and explanations we have have it happens again and again.

OP posts:

Treacle1972 · 05/02/2015 10:18

She's 10, I'm not sure that it's anything more than a bit of boundary pushing. When they're growing quickly (and particularly pre-puberty!) they get hungry A LOT and the whole "not between meals" thing suddenly goes out the window, consequences be damned! I virtually have to stand sentry over my 8 year old at the moment as she's in the cupboards every chance she gets complaining she's starving and that it's hours before breakfast/lunch/dinner.

Eating a cake you'd made for a reason though should probably have consequences, as apart from the dietary thing it's a bit selfish! Can she bake? Can you make her bake another cake to replace that one!?

NickyEds · 05/02/2015 10:19

Sounds like a biscuit/cake tin etc is just too tempting if she was very hungry then fruit would do- my sister had a very hungry child and he would eat anything, so fruit/slice of bread etc would have been fine. I'd be getting rid of the biscuit tin TBH, it's crap for you (do you have other DCs?) but when I was little we just didn't have stuff like that in the house except for times when we were allowed it, so there would perhaps be something for after Sunday dinner but not a tin of stuff there for everyday. Remove the temptation completely????

Original poster

ashleyld · 05/02/2015 10:41

I've been considering just removing temptation altogether for a while now and after reading all your comments maybe I will. I think this morning was just the final straw for me and I cracked and came here for help! To be honest if I hadn't of been so annoyed at what she was doing I would have laughed. She was stood there looking like a hamster with her cheeks full of cake.
Maybe removing the snacky type stuff will show if she really is hungry or if she was reaching for them because she knows its there.
And now I'm having a this all seems so obvious now moment! lol
Thanks for all the input guys X

OP posts:

sliceofsoup · 05/02/2015 10:54

My 6 year old does this.

We have to "hide" the biscuits and chocolate so she won't sneak around to get it. Its in my wardrobe now. She is provided with good portions at meal times and offered healthy snacks including the fruit bowl (we also have crackers and cheese and yoghurts always on offer) so it is definitely not hunger.

I have no answers for you I am afraid, we are still trying with her. She comes down in the mornings while we are sleeping. DH leaves for work at 7.30 so he is up from 6.45 and she has already been down to see what she can get.

Davsmum · 05/02/2015 11:05

How long HAS she been doing this though? Recent? or for years?
There are medical conditions that can cause this and you say she says she doesn't know herself why she does it.

It could also be an attention thing - You say you have many conversations about it so she could just be doing it for the attention.

I should think getting the doctor to check her would be good and in the meantime, make sure that she cannot just help herself to stuff by removing the stuff! See how she reacts if there is nothing for her to get.

Davsmum · 05/02/2015 11:06

Also,.with some kids - it becomes a habit because they are bored?

NickyEds · 05/02/2015 15:18

Have a lock box full of chocolate under your bed for you of course!

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