Pretending to kill during play

[suddenlycupishalffull]

I'm sure it's all very innocent but DD is my eldest (3.5) and I've no idea what's normal and tend to panic be too harsh on her She's started playing killing people with a wand - running around shouting 'I'm Elsa and my powers kill you, zap you're dead!' She's not actually seen Frozen so I'm guessing this is all a mishmash of things she's heard and games she's played at pre-school, she comes back singing the first line of Let It Go though she's no idea what it's about! I know playing soldiers etc is normal for boys and I'm sure it's nothing, but I don't really now how to handle it. It makes me squirm but I don't want to be overly harsh on her, I just don't know what to say to her when she does it. I'm thinking she needs to actually watch Frozen so she has some context.

Just let her get on with it. Nearly all kids do this.

She won't really understand what "dead" means - the enormity of the concept that someone is just gone forever is beyond most 3 year olds, unless they've experienced bereavement themselves. So don't worry - it'll pass. She has a good imagination and she's using it, that's all.

Leave her to it, most kids do this doesn't matter if they are a girl or a boy.

If you really want to stop her (and scare her too) then act dead when she does it to you...... maybe not - that'd scar her for life!

I'd say it is normal - why not snuggle up to watch the film with her.

I know it was lighthearted (I hope) but don't play dead my oldest DS did that when my youngest 'shot' him, the poor thing was hysterical!

DD (4.5) was telling me made up stories on the bus the other day, they all involved people being shot dead and most of them ended up being eaten. The older women on the bus with us were all laughing.

Exploring death and power (sometimes co-currently) is perfectly normal for both sexes. It's just much less socially acceptable in girls (who are meant to be powerless and nurturing).

You can of course set boundaries (I wouldn't join in shooting people dead games) but honestly it's not a precursor to psychopath.

Yes, my suggestion was in jest. In the film Elsa never means to hurt anyone.

Ok phew thank you, that's really reassuring, it's so useful to hear the experience of others, I suspected I was overreacting, though to her I haven't been reacting at all, but inside I was dying a little! I'll lighten up & enjoy a good film at the same time

Dc2 did that vibe day that he tried to kill me again I td him him 'what?? You want to kill me and then I'll be dead?'

He looked at me very seriously (and sad/offended): 'but mummy. It's just pretend play. Of course I'm not killing you for real!'
That's what it is. A game that helps them understanding what life and death is about. A copy of what they have seen others doing. Etc...

I'll promise she will be fine (and fighty which is good!!)

Btw if it's ok fur a not to obey at killing people then it's ok for a girl to do so too.

My DD went through a death phase around that age. She wasn't into shooting people so much as asking (usually in front of them) whether any relatives over about 60 would die soon.
DS is currently 2.7 & likes nothing more than being sat in the trolley in the supermarket shooting people with a cucumber.

When ds started doing this at 3 I was horrified, after much chatting to parents of older children, I chilled out a bit and accept its just normal play (although I still try to discourage it and say lets tickle them instead, which is met by lots of looks).

Sorry it should read
If it's ok for a BOY to play at killing people, then it's ok for a girl too.