3 yr old sleep help!

[MrsMcQueen]

My son is 3 and he has never been a good sleeper. When he was a baby he would only sleep on me, not even next to me, he would wake frequently in the night and it would take him 1 to 2 hours to go to sleep.
A couple of weeks ago I gave up on his daytime sleep which he was having when he came home from preschool as it was taking me so long to get him to sleep that it would be nearly 3pm by the time he fell sleep, if at all, and then he wouldn’t settle at night until 9 – 9.30pm. So I gave up on trying to get him to sleep and instead started doing dinner earlier and getting him to bed by 7pm. However because he is so tired when he goes to bed he is very restless for the first half the night, from reading the article on here about confusional arousal this fits perfectly. He is then awake at 5.30am and does not go back to sleep even though he is still clearly tired and then because he is tired by late afternoon his behaviour deteriorates. I just feel we are in an endless cycle, he doesn’t have a sleep in the day so he is overtired when he goes to bed, then he is really restless at night and the pattern repeats the next day.
I avoid public places or going to friends houses in the afternoons because he is so naughty, throwing, hitting and having strops.
He has always been an early riser but I think if he could just sleep until 7am he would manage a lot better in the day. Also no matter what time he goes to bed he still wakes up at the same time.
If you have any suggestions on how I can improve his sleep and get him to sleep longer in the mornings it would be very much appreciated!

Oh dear, sounds very similar to my DS! We seem to have made a few changes over the last 6 months that have made a big difference, although he's nearly 4 so there could be an element of simply growing out of it finally

DS gets out of preschool at 12, I immediately give him a snack for the walk home then his lunch once we get home, otherwise he's grumpy due to low blood sugar. After lunch we have some quiet time so either tv, stories cuddled on the sofa with me under a blanket, nothing active or mentally taxing. 30-60 mins of this and he perks right up as though he's had a sleep. After tea he gets ready for bed then is allowed 10-15 mins playing on the tablet. Sounds counter-productive but it means he is sitting quietly, and has wound down before heading up to bed. Prior to us discovering this, it took him at least 45 mins to settle from going upstairs.

We also got a gro clock which is helping with the mornings. At first he still woke at the same time but we enforced the rule of staying in his room (with toys to play with) until it went yellow at 7am. He's gradually started sleeping later and later, as he gets bored playing in his room so there's no incentive to get up, he tries to go back to sleep.

When he wakes at 5:30am do you get up with him and go downstairs?

I know when my DC were going through a phase of waking early we used to make them lie beside us till 7am which we deemed was a sensible hour to get up and start our day.

I have sympathy though.

My DC2 woke up hourly for her first year, gave up her nap at 15 months and even now at 2.5 year old she wakes up at least twice a night. But she goes to bed at 7pm and is in bed (though usually not her own!) until 7:30am. No tantrums, or meltdowns my mid-afternoon.