I've got two children - DS who will be 10 next month, and DD who is 7.5.
Let me give you an example of what is perplexing me at the moment.
Both children have been desperate for Dr Who trading cards, and we have been searching high and low in local shops without success. Finally I find some for sale on the internet, and DS decides he wants to buy 2 packets with his saved up pocket money. I (secretly) decide to give him an additional 2 packets because he has done so well at one of his clubs this half term. DD wants to buy one packet and I get her also 2 packets because she has got her marble award at school.
So 7 packets turn up on Wednesday morning, and I give them to the children who decide to take them to school (it's a big thing at school at the moment, everyone is swapping or trading). I completely forgot that there is a limit of 15 cards which you can take to school, beyond that the teachers confiscate them to be returned to parents later. So end of day 1, DD comes back with her 27 cards having traded some. DS comes back with 14 out of 36. Having had some 'doubles' he gave those away, then when other children heard he was giving away 'freebies' he was swamped (this is how he tells it) by children asking for freebies, and saying things like 'if you don't give me a card, I'll tell the teacher you've got more cards than you should', or 'I won't be your friend unless....' You get the picture.
Day 2 (yesterday) I told the children not to take their cards in unless they were absolutely sure they were not going to give any freebies. By the end of yesterday, DD comes back with her 15 (having left the others at home in the morning), and DS comes back with 4, yes FOUR cards left. Same old story except this time also he apparently dropped some cards on the floor which were picked up and taken by another child. Of course he can't give me any names, and won't go and talk to the teachers either.
I was furious - he and I spent ?10 each, and he has four cards left. I feel angry with him, but also angry at other children if that really is what is going on.
The thing is this is not an isolated incident. The bike that we bought him in the summer - he took ages with DH finding the right one, he goes mountain biking with DH, and couldn't care less what happens to his bike. He loves riding it but simply doesn't think about looking after it. He is given a lego star wars kit for his birthday - he spends ages building it, and then puts it on his floor where he knocks into it, stands on it, breaks bits off etc etc. He plays tennis but couldn't care less where he leaves his tennis racquet - whether it's in its cover or not, outside or in.
He is a lovely boy, quite bright, but just doesn't seem to get the message about looking after your possessions. He is given ?2.50 pocket money per week, which he has to 'earn' by doing things like making his bed every day, emptying his bin, putting dirty clothes in the basket etc etc. We're not wealthy, DH works but I don't, we don't spend with abandon, we talk to the children about money - how you get it, how you look after it, how to work out what to spend it on etc etc. DD seems to have worked it out a bit more than DS.
Does anyone have any similar experiences? Any suggestions? At the moment with his birthday in 3 weeks, then Christmas, I feel like not getting him anything as it will be lost, trashed, etc etc. I won't go that far of course but I'm at my wits end!!