Anyone who didn't go to playgroups/softplay? Your experiences now DCs are older?

[Midorichan]

Playgroups/softplay are too much for my DS to handle right now (18 months old) so I'm only going to take him to parks until he's older - anyone with older kids do this when they were younger? We have no friends with kids in the area but he has a newborn sister and cousin who occasionally visits we're teaching him to share with etc.

Eh? What are you worried about? I did take DS at that age, but they are more for your benefit than his really.

I started trying to take him a couple of weeks ago for his benefit to try and help spend some of his never ending energy levels plus get experience round kids his age but he's too energetic for them and ended up just pissing everyone off running everywhere, trying to get them to chase him etc which they didn't understand/want to do. Parks are great because I just put a football down and off he goes for several hours & if he's lucky an older kid will let him play with them for a while. I'd never be able to sit still long enough to make friends or whatever it is women do at these things. Anyway, just wanted to see if anyone else never took their kids until they were much older x

Im not a playgroup kind of person either! And my ds is now 6 and is fab. Well mannered does fantastic at school and is friends with everyone. Its not a major deal as long as hes stimulated and happy. Ive bever understood playgroups...its basically leave the kids to it while you have a brew and a natter...I can do that at home!

I only ever tolerated softplay on the occasions (once they were school age) when they were invited to parties there.

All dc have not only survived, but flourished. That really is a non-issue.

Playgroups slightly different, but again, when my dc were small you started playgroup around about 2 and 1/2 . He will develop / change a HUGE amount over the next year, or even two is you don't want to take him then.
Children do not need groups at this age - Stay and Play type groups are for the parents, not the dc.

Oh wow, thanks ladies! I thought I was the only one!

One of my nct group did not do much in the way of groups, classes, coffee mornings etc. and her dd spent most days at home with her mum and yet she is one of the best socially and confident in new situations. She recently started at my dd's nursery at 2.5 yrs old and settled in with no problems despite having never left her mum. So I don't think it really matters and is down to the natural personality of the child. (I know other kids that have spent their days at classes, playgroups etc. and have lots of problems socialising.)

We went to our local children's centres stay and play session once every week or two, but that was all, and we only went because it was brilliantly run and parents were expected to play with their kids. I hated any other sort of group, and soft play can GTF - awful places. Son is now 6 and a delight - really polite, friendly and sociable.

I pulled myself apart with guilt over not being able to do playgroups etc due to anxiety.

I wish someone had told me it wouldn't matter.

DD1 is 7yo, confident, polite, has lots of friends and is well liked

I didn't take any of our 3 dc to playgroups, nursery, or preschool.
They did go to soft play though for parties and with friends but only occasionally.
All of these situations have benefits to children and they prepare children well for school.

They aren't the only way to meet their needs though, they aren't necessary, unless of course you need the childcare aspect.

Ours are 23, 20 and 11 and have turned out/ are turning out fine.

I made sure they socialised, I read to them and they learned through play. We went to parks, shopping etc. We baked, watched tv, gardening, splashing in puddles.
It was lovely spending this time with them, watching them turn into the children they became.

They all 3 started school without any problems at all and in some areas were more independent.
Just make sure to give them time to be bored, to have to find something to do.

OP I couldn't and still cannot stand "softplay" or baby and toddler groups so after a few tries I stopped. My DDs both had time with their cousin's once a week in addition to parks etc. They're 10 and 6 and both very sociable.

I never do soft play with the babies! Never did it with dd1 either (she's 7). By the time they get to school age you end up down there every 3 minutes with birthday parties so just make the most of not having to hang around there whilst you can.

had 2 hours of it today and I've had enough for a life time.

Honestly I think it will be nicer when they're all older and I can be one of those mums who sits in the corner with a hot chocolate and a book mumsnetting.

Oh I don't do soft play either. We spend the days either going to the park, shopping, reading, watching TV and playing on the iPad. My 3 year old told us today his favourite planet was jupiter and we live on Earth! Dd is very sociable and confident at school. My kids don't need forced social interactions. Neither do I.

I hated most toddler groups. DD never wanted to join in like others did and ran around like a banshee. DS was similar. I avoided the majority of them although eventually found a local toddler group of the ditch them with toys then ignore them and have tea variety which suited us perfectly. DD did very few groups at all and is highly sociable now she's in Year 2, seems to get on with other kids and has never had a problem paying attention in class so no negative effects at all. DS went to more because I had a bigger social life and is much more insular at 4 than DD. Some of that is probably his SEN but I don't think playgroups had any effect on him at all really.

Now, I'd recommend doing what keeps you and the children happy and sane. If that's a group, then great but I really don't think they're as essential as (some) people claim.

Wow this is great, thank you so much for sharing your experiences this has really put my mind at ease after being told by so many women I "need" to do it for his sake. He seems to get quite hyper at them and then started to not listen to me which isn't like him at all and trying to get him to understand how to play nicely in a free for all environment whilst carting around a newborn was super stressful - out of the group/soft play environment and outside and he's a great kid again, stopping when I say, being gentle etc, so definitely for now I'm going to stick to parks for his socialising/exercise.

Thanks for this thread OP! My 15 month old is at home with me most days, my DP works away a lot. Once a week I'll take him to a soft play for a half hour to burn off steam but only if DP is off. I don't take him to groups as there aren't any near me. He's so confident and happy and on occasions where he does socialise with other children he is absolutely fine - he isn't scared or timid or doesn't act up. He waves and smiles at everyone in the street and isn't clingy with me either. The replies have made me feel that because he seems like this that I can relax. I do worry about not taking him to groups but so far it doesn't seem to be doing him any harm