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Dealing with a grabby, over enthusiatic 13 month old...

12 replies

Allstoppedup · 28/01/2015 17:33

DS is 13months and is a very sweet boy. He loves to hug but recently it has become a problem at baby groups and I'm concerned it's becoming less good natured. He will go for a hug and nearly knock over other babies - if I'm not quick enough to prevent it! He's just very quick and I can't get him to sit still/ stay within reach a lot of the time without repeatedly 'collecting' him which is exhausting and makes me not want to go out Recently he's been putting his mouth on them too, which he does at home when 'kissing' but with the force he does it It digs his teeth in.

He also shrieks sometimes when he's hugging which scares other children.

Today he picked up the hand of a little girl and put it in his mouth and bit her. I immediately comforted the little girl (I always make sure the other babies are ok, I obviously put a distance between DS and the upset child and make sure they get fussed) I then tell DS what he has done wrong and why it is bad, then pick him up and move away/ try to distract him.

When he makes another baby cry he often looks upset/ distressed himself and is often confused.

At home we practice 'gentle' and I will take his hands and show him how to be careful. he is still very heavy handed though.

I just don't know how to handle it and feel like an awful mum. I'm 4 weeks pregnant and broke down crying at today's group I was just so frazzled and embarrassed.

he's so little, I know he just needs time but what can I do to calm him down/ get him to behave better.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Allstoppedup · 28/01/2015 17:49

Bump

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PoppySausage · 28/01/2015 17:53

I don't think anything is wrong and you are handling it perfectly. Normal behaviour as far as I can see. He will learn eventually... Exhausting to ride it out though.

Midorichan · 28/01/2015 17:56

My son was exactly the same at parks. I had to just stay by him like a hawk. He grew out of it mostly a few months ago (he's 18 months now), but I could never take him to play groups because a) he was too strong for other kids his age and would pull them over when hugging when I wasn't quick enough to grab him first, making them cry, and b) other parents would get very snotty about another kid hugging theirs, understandably I suppose. It was a shame because it meant I could never get him out to groups. I just kept doing what you're doing though, telling and teaching about being gentle etc, and it eventually started to sink in.

Allstoppedup · 28/01/2015 18:07

Thank you!

I certainly don't feel like I'm doing anything right!

I've been lucky in that no other parents have been horrible as I do try and step in before an incident but I also don't want to be hovering like a loon when he is playing nicely!

I'm just dreading the next 9 months, I had a tough pregnancy with DS and I'm not sure I will be quick enough to keep on top of him! I'd stop going to clubs but the few we do a week keep me sane and burn off some of his energy!

I guess patience is the key though!

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TarkaTheOtter · 28/01/2015 18:11

Don't stop going to groups. It might be worth going to more toddler-focused groups as people will be more understanding IME. Once you see how little impulse control 2 and 3 (and older!) year olds have it's much easier to be tolerant of littler ones who are still babies really.

cosmicglittergirl · 28/01/2015 18:15

Sounds like you're doing the right thing and he ll pick it up. Could he go to nursery one morning a week? Give him an opportunity to have prolonged exposure to other similar aged children and give you a rest from having to watch him all the time.

Allstoppedup · 28/01/2015 20:09

Thanks very much for the support, some good advice!

I spoke to DP and we are going to see if we can work it out budget wise for a half day somewhere, maybe not now but certainly as I get a bit fatter/waddlier!

I'm also looking for toddler groups that might have sturdier children that can give him a run for his money!

I'm thinking today was made extra terrible due to hormones so I will stick out groups for now and see if I can fit in a few more park runs/outside play and wear him out!

It's nice to hear its normal! I get so worried when all of the other babies his age seem so quiet, passive and well behaved in comparison and my little guy is running round like I gave him pep pills and coffee for breakfast! still love his crazy little face though

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NickyEds · 28/01/2015 20:33

I'm glad it's not just mine then! I'm pregnant too (16 weeks) and my ds (13 months) is like a bull in a china shop at baby groups. It's getting really hard as I just have to be "on him" all of the time. It really feels like other babies will just sit playing nicely and ds runs riot, dragging toys off shelves, climbing over other children (Blush). I have no idea how to "discipline" him as it feels so silly to even try, he's still so little.
He does seem a bit better at a proper toddler group (as opposed to baby group) we go to. There are more ride on and walk along toys and more space to run around. There are also older toddlers so I don't feel as nervous about him accidentally pummelling another child.
I too feel like ds is on Red Bull compared to other babies but he does make me smile in the midst of the chaos! It is harder when you're pregnant (I hope or else I'm just useless!!)

Allstoppedup · 29/01/2015 08:44

Nicky Ahhhh! Your DS and mine sound like kindred spirits!

Mine is such a loving boy and cuddles/kisses so much and I just can't bring myself to tell him off for being affectionate! I love that he's a little live wire but I never thought I'd be the mum with "that" child!- comparison to all the little babies toddling about whilst you repeatedly dash around the room as yours stuffs chalk in his mouth, walks around wielding heavy toys above his head ready to launch them, rugby tackles others to the ground...Confused

I'm very glad it's not just me and you've had success with older groups !

Good luck with your bump and babe! Grin

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fattymcfatfat · 29/01/2015 09:18

Haha my 13 month old dd is the same! She can be very vicious when she wants too....she has bit my ds and made him bleed twice! Shes normally really kind and sweet but she just loses her temper too easy. She loves to get up to mischief and do stuff she shouldn't such as holding toys over herr head to throw across the room etc....but becaus of her temper I dont take her to groups. I love her but shes a demon! Normally just mischievous but sometimes shes just violent!

fattymcfatfat · 29/01/2015 09:19

Oh im also 15 weeks pg!

NickyEds · 29/01/2015 10:17

My ds has also bitten me! On the leg because i wouldn't pick him up! He's an animal! I have it easy compared to his shape sorter which recieves the brunt of his temper at the moment.

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