Angry Chimp: Anyone Else?

[NotQuiteCockney]

DS2 seems to have developped an "angry chimp" mode. He gets angry, but won't talk, or make any noise. He lowers his brows, sticks out his lips, and then throws things around, hits me, and bites me. He's not completely mad, he's not hitting as hard as he can, he's even a bit calm with it. And he makes no noise.

Oh, and he can laugh in the middle of it, and then get more angry, because I made him laugh!

It gets a bit difficult, particularly if he does it on the bike - having someone try to bite your arm while you're cycling in London traffic is not fun.

I think I'm making progress in learning how to get him out of it. I need to either work out the problem and talk to him about it, or just completely leave him alone.

How old is he?

Just gone 2. Should have said! If he was 6, I'd be more bothered by this!

Sounds a bit funny! Better than a full blown screaming tantrum!

My DS has always been the silently protesting type, foe example he will simply go limp and flop on the ground if he doesn't want to go somewhere with me or is angry etc. which is a bit annoying when we're trying to get somewhere and I'm holding his hand. I've found that ignoring it helps sometimes, other times distraction works or reacting in a way he wasn't expecting, like making an unrelated comment or joke ec. But again ds also gets more angry/strong willed/ stubborn after I've made him laugh in the middle of one of his protests! Maybe it's just this age?

Oh, yes, distraction sometimes works, but often he gets angry at me for talking to him.

The cause is often not anything obvious. He had one on Tuesday because I said "we're going to see X today" when I picked him up from the co-op, and he went angry chimp because we weren't seeing her now.

Oh, and he had a good one the other day because I took his shoes off without permission.

He did used to do screaming tantrums, but hasn't for a little while. I guess the silent ones are easier, but he looks completely deranged, and people don't understand that he is (basically) tantrumming. He only really does them for me or his dad, though, anyway.

Yep ds can look quite deranged too when he goes off on one, silent but flailing his arms around really quickly so I can't pick him up. TBH I don't give a monkeys what other people in the street think, I know he is just being a normal 3 year old! DS only doesn it for me too, and never if there are people we know about (but a crowded supermarket full or strangers is ok apparantly!!)

I guess the main thing is not to reward this behaviour in anyway (positively or negatively) but that is so much easier said than done!

Well, I don't mind having a chat with him and explaining something to him, to break the tantrum. I guess it's easier, in a strange way, that he's not generally doing this because he wants something immediate, or at least not something I can give him.

DS2 has done Angry Chimp at the co-op, but only when I was there. The lovely manager/playleader was holding him on Tuesday, and he was calmly, repeatedly, slapping her in the face.

As he's not doing it for something immediate or tangible maybe he's just experimenting with what he can do, and doesn't mean it in an aggressive or angry way-like the clamly slapping playleader on face?

If you ask him does he tell you what's wrong? Is he good at expressing himself verbally? I know if children find this hard then they can get frustrated and try expressing themselves through actions instead (not that this is necessarily what your ds is doing).

Oh, no I think he's definately angry. Not furious, maybe, but angry.

He's ok with words, but not great. And when he's emotional, he's less good with words.

Hmm, he had an Angry Chimp moment this morning, and threw his cutlery on the floor, but not his full bowl of cereal. When I tried to take away the bowl (so he wouldn't throw it on the floor), he came back to reality and decided he wanted his cutlery back .

So maybe he's more in control than I thought when he does these things ...