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Can someone point out to me where we are going wrong with 2 year old's routine - I'm out of ideas!

13 replies

movingalot · 24/01/2015 14:15

Just 2yo DD has become increasingly fraught and tantrumy, and I feel that she is probably overtired most of the time, and also not getting enough one-to-one attention from us due to a busy routine.

At the moment, I work full time and she is in nursery fulltime, this is until May when I go on maternity leave again. Day to day, she

  • wakes up at 8ish, but would sleep later if allowed, has milk and gets dressed at home then has breakfast in nursery. I'm usually rushing her as have to be in work by 9, ideally I would be dropping her at 8 to be in work before 8.30.
  • has snack, lunch, snack, and an hour sleep in nursery
  • usually picked up about 5.30. She has started resisting coming home with me and having a tantrum leaving nursery (lovely Grin), but is usually fine by the time we arrive home. Has a quick tea about 6, then a little bit of TV between 6.30 and 7. She previously would have played or coloured during this time, but recently seems too knackered, and just zones out in front of Ben and Holly.
  • has milk at 7, then a bath, into her pyjamas in our room, a few stories and a song in her room, then into cot. She is usually fine actually being put down, but getting pyjamas on is a struggle with lots of running around and messing, often disintegrating into a full on tantrum. She generally sleeps through from 8 or 8.30ish.
  • On the weekends, she will wake about 8.30, and usually has a 2 - 3 hour nap in the afternoon, which we try really hard to protect.

I have a really strong sense that this routine isn't working, and I hate rushing her in the mornings because she sleeps so late! Her tantrums at bedtime I presume stem from over tiredness / overstimulation. When she is good she is lovely, but at the moment everything seems like a struggle for both her and me (and DH who is great with her, but getting equally frustrated!)

Any ideas would be welcome, I can't see the wood for the trees at the moment!

OP posts:
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poocatcherchampion · 24/01/2015 14:19

I'd cut out TV and move straight towards bedtime.

Partly because TV is a stimulant and pointless but more because you are reflecting that she is actually just exhausted.

Things will pick up in the spring I expect. My2 are in bed at half 5 at the mo. If I am late home from work I miss them. Sad

JugglingLife · 24/01/2015 14:22

I'd change the bed time hon, 8 to 8.30 seems quite late for a 2 year old. Think mine had lights out by 7 at that age.

paxtecum · 24/01/2015 14:27

Agree with others.
Stop the tv and get her to sleep ASAP.

Heels99 · 24/01/2015 14:28

Bed time is too late, bring it to 7pm. She doesn't need bath every day so that could save you some time in days when she is cleaner, obviously if covered in paint will need a bath! Lunch is probably quite early at nursery so she could be waiting a long time for tea. Eg if lunch is 12pm then she is waiting six hours for tea with just a snack. Is there an option for her to have tea at nursery?
The weekend nap is really long for a 2 year old (2-3 hours) presumably she is catching up on lost sleep from late bedtimes in the week. I would reduce the weekend nap to the same as nursery nap.
So get up at 7, one hour nap, go to bed at 7. Bath optional. Bring tea forward to 4.30-5pm by having it at nursery.
Good luck!

kalidasa · 24/01/2015 14:44

Yes I would bring bedtime forward too, probably by skipping the 30 mins of TV, and maybe once you've established that wake her up a bit earlier so things are less rushed and you both have a more relaxed start to the day. Even 15 minutes in the morning reading a story in bed with you (or similar) might be the bit more one-on-one time she needs? DS is 25 months and only sleeps 8.30-6.30 ish but he has always been an outlier (never slept more than 12 hours out of 24 even as a newborn). If you sense she's overtired she probably is.

Guin1 · 24/01/2015 14:51

Agree with pp. My 2.5 yo DS is usually in bed by 7:30pm and then wakes up at 6:30am bright as a button. We let him nap as long as he needs after lunch, usually 2-3 hours, although on nursery days it tends to be more like 1-2 hours. Bath every second night, unless he is really grubby.

TarkaTheOtter · 24/01/2015 14:52

I put mine to bed straight after dinner.

But, don't discount that this may just be a phase - a physical or developmental growth spurt.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 24/01/2015 17:24

If she's tired, and you can't change the waking time - then you need to change the sleeping time. Of course that means you see even less of her which can't be nice for you, but if there's not an option.

There's nothing wrong with an 8pm bedtime (DD was never asleep by then without getting overtired), other than it doesn't work for your DD.

Jaffakake · 24/01/2015 17:46

Since ds started nursery at 10 months we've followed:
5:30 nursery pickup
Snack as soon as we get home ( phe has crumpets, toast, sandwich, fruit etc)
6:00 upstairs for bath
7:00 stories for about 5-10 mins & lights out.

He wakes at about 7am for most of the year, but in the winter this does move to 7:30am.
The above has only adjusted by 30mins now he's 3.5yrs.

It's a tight schedule & I'm fed up hurrying him all the time. I'm pregnant too & in 5 weeks will be delighted to have a more relaxed schedule.

The tantrum on leaving nursery could be hunger maybe? We're lucky in that nursery provide a decent snack at about 3:30pm. Try having a snack ready she could eat in the car?

movingalot · 24/01/2015 20:41

Thanks for all the good suggestions!

We did no TV and milk at 6.45 this evening and bedtime was a lot more pleasant with no meltdowns, although she still took until 8 to let me turn off the light due to having a new book to read! We'll work towards milk at 6.30 aiming for sleep at 7.30 bringing things forward by 15 mins every couple of nights. Fingers crossed Grin

OP posts:
movingalot · 24/01/2015 20:45

Also will give her a more substantial afternoon snack for nursery, and have snacks in the car - hadn't thought of it before, thanks!

OP posts:
peggyundercrackers · 24/01/2015 21:02

Our dd is always in bed by 7:15, if she hasn't had a nap in the afternoon she gets grumpy after 5:30ish and it's obvious she's over tired, if she's not had tea by 5:30 it's a waste of time trying and she just gets a snack.

coffeeandcalpol · 24/01/2015 21:05

Agree with bedtime, if she could sleep later in the morning, get her the extra sleep by getting her into bed earlier, then use the extra time you get in the evening to make sure everything you both need for the morning, clothes, bag for nursery etc is laid out and ready, so you have a less rushed morning and can have a nicer start to your day

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