going back to work.

[jojomama1507]

The plan for me wasn't to go back to work immediately. I was going to wait until 9 months and then start looking as I am not returning to my previous work place. I started looking at the beginning of January my Lo is 6 months. I got an interview and have been offered the job. It is part time 25 hours a week, my mum is happy to have DD 2 days but I will be in work 3 or 4. I do really want to get back into work and don't want to miss out on a good opportunity, but I also think leaving my little girl will break my heart.
Anyone got any advise or been in a similar situation??

Can you delay starting for a month or so? I went back four days after taking a year off and the first couple of weeks were hard but we both got used to it quite quickly your lo will be fine at it's great that your mum will have her.

I did about those hours at 6mo. I liked the balance and I think ds and I both found the transition easier than friends who were off a year.

If you've got a job you'll enjoy on those hours I'd bite their arm off.

IMO, it's way easier to leave them at this age than it is to be putting them in childcare before and after school. Both the practicalities and the way they handle it are easier to deal with when they're babies.

It is hard on you, but you'll get used to it.

I went back to work when dd was 7 months and it was hard. But the time we had together was so much nicer, and we had more money to do things together.

I work those hours now with 2 babies and feel I've the best of both worlds. I'd go for it, but it's your decision:)

I did the same kind of hours at 6m, my son was with my husband. It was fine, and I honestly quite enjoyed leaving the house alone.

I knew DS was being well cares for, and it sounds like your daughter being with your mum for two days will be lovely. How long are your working days?

I was back to work 32hrs a week at 6mo which was sad but quickly became the new norm. He was with a great cm it was before the separation anxiety kicked in too so worked well for us.

Thanks for the comments everyone made me feel a lot better. I'm going in next week to negotiate hours and days so at least they are considering my needs as a mum. She is my first child and I just felt a bit like I'm letting her down leaving her so young but I also know that my mum will do a fantastic job when I'm not there so I'm lucky really.

My own opinion is that we (as a society) can concentrate far too much on babies' first year. I think that doing what it takes to have a good balance when they are 2, and 5 and 11 is more important.
I went back to my business whdn my ds was 6mo in order to secure good working hours/patterns for the long term (school hours basically).

I went back to work when dd was just 5 months old - at the time it felt terrible, but I think the anticipation was worse than the reality, iyswim. I quickly got back into the swing of it, and dd thrived with mil, dh and at nursery. It didn't have any effect on, for example, me being able to breast feed her - I carried on till she was nearly 2!

She's now 2.9 and we have a great bond, always have, and she's doing really well. I don't think she suffered in the least, never seemed unhappy to go to nursery or whatever (and has always LOVED going to granny's). She's fairly confident, got good social skills, compassionate and empathic, developmentally well ahead of milestones etc (of course she might well have been all these things whatever we'd done). If I'd had all the money in the world, then for my own sake yes I would have stayed off longer - but I did what I felt was necessary for my family's financial well-being, and still think, all things considered, it was the right decision.

Very best of luck!

I think it's actually easier all round at that sort of age. I went back quite early with DS (four and a half or five months, can't remember exactly) - he was too young for separation anxiety of any kind. Friends that took a full year found the settling in period much more difficult. I also had no probs continuing to breastfeed, if that's a factor - I did all the morning/evening/night feeds and he had bottles during the day.

I also really agree that it's easy to focus too much on the first year rather than everything that comes afterwards. If this is a good job with hours which you think will work for you/your family for several years, I'd go for it.

It's hard leaving them at any age. If you have been offered a good job with hours that suit your family etc it would be a shame to turn it down. Are you able to speak to the employer and find out if your start date might be put back a bit?

I went back straightaway after all 3 of mine. It is difficult at first to get into the swing of things. You will not believe the number of times I would have a sudden panic and think I had forgotten to drop oldest off at the childminder!

TBH it helped that I had known that I would be going back straightaway. There was no guilt as I knew that nothing else was possible.

It's hard whenever you end up going back! I read a book called "mothers work!" By Jessica Chivers which really helped me mentally prepare and get my head round things, good luck!