8 year old lying

[movingonishard]

I recently discovered my 8 year lying to me. When I've asked further, he'll tell the truth but says he lies to start with because he's scared i'll be cross I'm so rarely cross with him as he's so well behaved and have hardly ever even raised my voice with him. On the od occasion i have, he is usually very upset. I'm so sad and disappointed and feel i've totally failed. One of the reasons me and his dad split up was over lies, ds know his dad lies as he does it to him too. I've always tried to stress the importance of being honest to him and i truly thought he was until recently. He promised last week not to lie again, but has done it again today. I really don;t know how to deal with this. Any thoughts?

I'm afraid I have nothing helpful to say. But didn't want your post to go unnoticed.

My eldest is only 4 and has started lying. Daft things like 'no I haven't turned the telly up'! We do all we can to press on here that she must never, ever lie to me or DH. She never gets in to trouble when she does own up "yes, Mummy, I was just using my scissors to see if I could put a hole in the carpet, sorry."

Of course we don't want our children to lie or keep secrets.

But, really, what can we do? Lying is surely human nature?

Say, for example, that I robbed a bank (obviously, I didn't, I'm just giving an example here). Now I realise this is a very wrong thing to do indeed. So much so I've given all the money to homeless people. I'm wracked with guilt and can't sleep. I will never, ever do it again. The police come and knock on my door doing a routine check because I've got a car similar to the one I used for my getaway. I've got 3 DCs in bed. Do I say "oh yes, that was definitely me. I'm really sorry, but I will 'fess up because I know it's bad to lie". No. I don't. I lie and save my arse. See what I mean?

Hi. My son is 8 and lies about things (incidents at school, finishing packed lunch, homework etc) which at first really upset me, but apparently it's a behaviour that is normal and I'm just keeping fingers crossed it'll pass like so many other bad things. I know it can be upsetting as I was mortified but it sounds like you are loving and calm which goes a long way. X

I have an 8 year old and he is lying sometimes too. I think it's something they all do at this age. It sounds like you are handling it as I am telling him I won't get angry and he always tells truth in end and just keep reiterating that honesty best policy! It is annoying though. Can usually always tell when he is lying though.