Health visitor worried?

[FructoseTart]

I've just had DD weighed. She is 2 years 2 months. She is measuring on the 91st centile for weight currently. The last time I had her weighed at 12 months she was 50th. Her height at 1yo was 9th centile, it is now 75th centile. HV has told me to put DD on a diet?!! and as DD had a massive tantrum has referred me to go to parenting classes without my permission. Wtaf!! This is my 2nd child, I know what I am doing and have Another on the way. Also she has said she would like to come and visit me at my house AGAIN...aibu if I told her to forget it after she has made me feel like I'm doing something wrong?!

Actually I have heard good things about parenting classes so it might be worth going even if there's nothing actually 'wrong' with your parenting.

However you don't have to see the health visitor and you can ring up and cancel. I'd be putting something in writing as to why not, just for future reference, but I"m a bit paranoid like that!

while it does seem a bit previous of your HV to have referred you to parenting classes, they are really really useful.
YANBU to not let in your house again though, but just watch her, be careful, the last thing you want is an SS referral.

Why did you take her to be weighed? I avoided HV and clinics from birth because of this reason

You are not BU to refuse any further involvement. However you may have flagged yourself up on "the system". If they persist;

1. Ask the HV why she needs a "diet"- assuming weight loss diet- if both her height and weight have increases pretty much in proportion. Is she trying to shrink her as well as lose weight?

1. Ask her if her height and weight are increasing, why is it a weight loss issue? If her height is also increased should you not be referred to paeds if the HV is worried, in case it's a growth hormone issue?

3.invent keep a food diary for a week. Show she eats quality food and is not existing on ready meals and chocolate buttons. Write down a list of pre-school gymnastic/dance/swim/martial arts session and say as her diet is good you're looking into these to help her activity levels. Repeat that's all can do unless the HV thinks it's a medical issue, in which case pads referral...

or/

Invite her round, say you've put DD on a strict 600 calorie a day diet as you were so worried by HV. Say the parenting course will help because she swings between screaming for food and being lethargic and floppy since you put her on the diet. Watch her panic and backtrack.....

Then never see her again :)

The reason I have been referred is because DD had a massive tantrum when HV came a few weeks ago - we had just moved into the area and she wanted to meet us - which was fine by me. I ignored DD during her tantrum as it was over nothing, she just works herself up so much that she is sick. But don't all 2 yo have tantrums?

Sunny - this is my main worry. I feel they are keeping tabs on me and would put a word to SS if I don't cooperate with classes etc.

to be honest if you have just moved into the area, you might find parenting classes good socially as well as useful in giving you strategies to deal with tantrums and so on.
Possibly I am over paranoid about SS referrals but just watch her...
She sounds a bit batty anyway as so many of them are; a weight loss diet for a toddler? just wtf?

I think they might have a bit of a thing going on with the weight referral at the moment a for good reason. Research says weight problems at this age cause life long problems.

DS4 is 99th percentile for height and 97th for weight at the reception checks. Our school nurse pushed very hard with me for an onward referral for a 12 week fitness course for our whole family. The purpose of the course is to get the family active. Their referral process seems to be based on a set of assumptions which I had to talk them through - the food he ate, what cooking we are doing, how balanced our meals were, the exercise he was taking. Our lifestyle as a family. I had to talk about our whole family BMI. As it was a phone referral they made assumptions about our whole family lifestyle. It took about 40 minutes of walking through each point she made before she said - there are exceptions and maybe littlest tea is it.

We are still laughing about us on the 12 week exercise programme - we all play competitive sports (rugby, hockey, football) for club/county on a regular basis, there are six of us who quite like to win and we would have taken the fitness very seriously.

Maybe call her up and talk through each point in a constructive way, in detail, to find out more.

To be fair - I think I would have taken the offer of a parenting course as I know I could improve despite parenting 4DS. The exercise course I felt was a waste of NHS resources for us as a family.

2yos have tantrums yes, but I reckon the HV saw you ignoring her and that could (by some) be percieved as being a bit concerning. What was up with your DD when she was tantrumming?

I agree with other posters that parenting classes could actually be quite interesting, you don't know what you don't know until you find out!

Uri what's wrong with ignoring a tantrum? My dd has a tantrum today because I turned off peppa pig. We ignored her because we told her this was happening, she carried on for 5 minutes then got over it. Not really grounds for a parenting course.