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Behaviour/development

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8 year old dd flying off the handle

2 replies

monkeytree · 13/01/2015 18:29

I have an 8 year old dd and was wondering if anyone can relate to the following.

DD can be loving and lovely and usually good with others but her behaviour can be horrendous with me at times. She knows the routine for school, now in year 4 but often requires me to prompt her several times to do certain things such as clean her teeth which it seems she can't be bothered to do despite me talking yo her about the importance of looking after her teeth and showing her my numerous black fillings from eating too many sweets as a child. I know my voice starts to raise after the fourth time of asking and then she screams mum at me and stomps about. She hates being told what to do but it does not seem that she wishes to assume responsibility to do these things. I dread mornings sometimes I think what mood will dd be in this morning. I'm trying to ensure dd gets enough sleep as lack of sleep certainly doesn't help

I like to think of myself as a patient person but agree I can become short tempered when tired. I also have a younger dc and now expecting dc no. 3. I keep blaming myself that my dd flies off the handle at the most simplest requests sometimes. I couldn't ever imagine speaking to my own mother in the way dd sometimes speaks to me. I don't have a close relationship with my own mother and panicking that dd and I won't be close in later years. Do we sometimes clash because we are similar, I don't know.

DH doesn't always back me up telling me she needs positive reinforcement, praise etc. All well and good but it isn't him doing the school run! nor is he a pregnant woman getting a toddler ready in the mornings. I agree shouting escalates dd's behaviour but I see myself as a reasonably patient person who eventually seems to erupt knowing few other strategies for dealing with dd's tantrums and lack of cooperation. Can anyone else relate?

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VenusRising · 13/01/2015 18:39

Cut out the sugar completely and replaced it with fresh healthy snacks like carrots. Children get addicted to sugar very quickly and it's best if they don't have any as it causes all sorts of behavioural problems and health problems.

Sorry you are having a heard time of it, and hope your DH and the whole family can have an around the table talk and listen about what your family stands for and how you go about your objectives. Make a family crest with pictures from a magazine.

Try not to have a blame game, but rather a "when you don't brush your teeth, I'm worried you will have bad teeth (and bad health, and you won't live as long as you should)" type of talk.

"It's important for every member of this family to pull together, and how can we do that without fighting." is also a good idea for a round table discussion. Be calm, and insist that no one shouts or whines, but speaks and is listened to. Have a spoon for the speaker. Make notes on what is said. Make the house rules, and pin them up where everyone can see them.

Congrats on your pregnancy, hope all goes well.

monkeytree · 13/01/2015 20:31

DD has low sugar diet. sometimes she is remorseful that she has flown off the handle and does little sorry notes and occasionally says sorry mum, just wondering if this is a phase and whether anyone else has experienced this?

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