pre teen not going to school, watching you tube constantly

[Baileymum45]

Please help!
Not sure where to start but my 12 year old has not been to school for weeks - doesnt want to! i seem to be getting nowhere with asking for help, all she does is sit in her room watching you tube playing games on x box, doesnt communicate, doesnt wash or dress only eats when she wants to.
i have eventually persuaded school to do a camhs referral but in the meantime im at my wits end with want to do, if i try and push any issues she withdraws and wont speak eat or drink (30 hours has been the longest) she spends all the time in bed, if i take away all media ie ipod etc she just lies there, with it and she spends all hours watching you tube and half asleep all day.
i am unsure whether to take it away as with it at least she is interacting/doing something but she is becoming nocturnal and i have no chance of her moving before 16.00.
when i do remove things she becomes extremley angry and her mental health deterioriates
Any help gratefully recieved
Thanks

Does she like drawing/ art? Could you get her to do something like that? Can you get her taking vitamins- vit d etc?

I really think you need urgent help here - do what you have to do, pester your GP, the school, insist on an urgent referral. Do not accept anything less.

I agree with others, don't restrict the wifi - she is too fragile.

I am tempted to say don't even bother trying to send her to school just now, i know its difficult but can you take some unpaid/holiday leave just to stay at home with her for a week?

Thanks all, i have been to gp on numerous occasions to no avail, forcing her to do things results in fighting which i dont think does either of us any good, i have placed her in the shower fully clothed before but force stripping and washing her seems wrong on so many levels, she hasnt washed now for 6 weeks
i cant get her to leave the house even for treats such as cinema etc
conforming to normal life is a constant battle and affects the whole family

Have you spoken to any of her friends to see if they know why she is behaving like this?

Not that easy to get anti-depressants prescribed for under 16s. Would need a psychiatrist, not GP.

I think you need an urgent appointment with the GP and to tell them in no uncertain terms that you won't be fobbed off. Not washing/getting out of bed for six weeks, including Christmas Day, is very worrying. She sounds horribly depressed. The poor girl.

If your doctor won't do anything, insist on a second opinion. Write a list of all of the things she's doing/not doing and make sure they don't ignore it. I'm so sorry for you - it must be really hard to see her like that at the same time as trying to work.

Are you the only adult at home? Will she talk to any of her siblings?

How are you doing?

I have messaged you bailey

I would say - no computer or screens in her room.
Then she will have to leave her room. (And I would do this rather than cut off all wifi).

Make a list of what you want to achieve, eg: leaves room, answers when spoken to, eats 3 meals a day, takes multi vitamins, changes clothes, showers (try once a week and then increase frequency to a reasonable one, gradually).

In your paper trail keep letters/warning notices from work. Inform your Union if you belong to one, argue for a leave of absence if possible. Get someone to pop in on a regular basis, or phone home (if you can get her to answer).
Is there anything she enjoys? Will she chat on car journeys? Reply to emails? Facetime/skype chat? Does she interact with anyone (even via phone, text or computer)?

If she makes any threats of self-harm, take her immediately to A and E. It can open to doors to help.

Hoping you are making some progress OP.