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What would you do?

11 replies

xena · 12/10/2006 11:24

DS1 8yrs kicked my sister in the playground when I wasn't there. She says that she told him to go and get his lunchbox and he didn't want to. He says it wan't there when he look, she otld him he could see it from where she was standing. Anyway she carried on with the conversation and when she had finished DS went to walk away from her to find me in the infants playground (i always arrive in the juniors after I collect the little ones or they are allowed to come to the infants playground and find me) and in his words she said something mean to his back and so he kicked her
When I arrived in the playground neither one told me about it DS1 looked miserable so I asked him what was the matter (he had been off sick the day before with sickness) and he said his tummy had been aching all day so I said he should have got the teacher to phone me. By this time the lunchbox stand was nearly empty so he went and found his box and we went home, He has had quite a few incidents lately with children moving his box around and kicking etc, one box has already been broken, DS feels victismed by it and thinks that whoever does it is only doing to his one (I don't know if this is the case but intend on informing the teacher at parents evening tonight)
My sister has a DS of the same age and reguarly he has 'screaming tantrums' much like the terrible twos mainly imo because my sister winds him up and he doesn't know how to react. In the playground a week ago one of her younger boys was repeatly pushing and pinching my DD1 until DD was hiding behing my legs in the end she burst into tears when I looked at my sister she was shooting DD dirty looks.
Anyway back to the kicking incident I find about it because an hour after we are home my sister phones and tells me your ds1 kicked me in the playground to which I replied what did you do to him? I questioned him and he told me his version.
my immediate reaction was to make him phone an apologise to her but when I had thought about it for a moment I explained to him that he was wrong to kick people and if he felt like that again then to come and find me and I would sort it out and if I wasn't there to find a teacher. When I discussed it with DH later he said he was sick of her bulling our children.
Anyway she hasn't spoken to me since and I presume she is either waiting for him to apolgise or angry because I asked her what she had done.
He is normally a well behaved child, although from an early age she labelled him as a naughty child. My other sister noticed how DS1 behaviour changed when the first sister arrived the other day.
DS1 has been refered to Speech and lang therpy as he finds comunication difficult.
Anyway I don't want to fall out with my sister esp as we are moving away soon. Do I apolgise and get Ds to as well?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
xena · 12/10/2006 12:04

anyone "you bad mother your child should apologise immediatly"

OP posts:
MamaGhoul · 12/10/2006 12:07

your DS was wrong to kick your sis, but she doesn't sound like a very nice Auntie.

Perhaps you could apologise, in the interests of keeping the family peace, bearing in mind she's moving away and then keep your distance.

Your poor little DCs

PferPferPumpkinEater · 12/10/2006 12:13

TBH if I were you (which obviously I'm not) I would not apologise, but say something along the lines of "I've spoken to ds about what happened and told him that he shouldn't have kicked you, and that he should come to me if there's a problem in future". She doesn't sound a very good autie really. You know your DS and your sister so you probably know that it was provoked and as an adult your sister should know better.

PferPferPumpkinEater · 12/10/2006 12:14

Also of course make sure ds knows not to do it again which I'm sure you've already done because your a MN mum and we're all perfect!

MamaGhoul · 12/10/2006 12:15

oh yes thats a much better idea pfer - ignore my idea xena

PferPferPumpkinEater · 12/10/2006 12:17

WTF!? Someone actually agrees with me?

xena · 12/10/2006 12:28

Thats what I think- that shes the adult. Still smarting from the dirty looks she gave 4 yo DD1. Can't wait to move away tbh I've had enough of it.

OP posts:
PferPferPumpkinEater · 12/10/2006 12:31

Families eh? Shame you can't pick them youself isn't it?

Helgand · 12/10/2006 12:43

Totally agree with Pfer - was wondering what on earth you could do and then read her suggestion - very wise lady indeed.
Remember, this is one (or maybe more!) instance in what will be many years of your family life and if you are moving away it would be really gd to clear the air first, and when the auntie comes to visit make sure dh is standing between her and your kids! Hope it goes okay.

PferPferPumpkinEater · 12/10/2006 12:52

Agree with Heg, on visits try to keep kids and sis separate for the benefit of your kids. My SIL once raised her hand to DS1 when he was about ohhhh, let me see 13/14months old and was in the processing of messing up the cushions on her sofa, I've not taken him round since then and I've never asked her to babysit. She's a nice Auntie too.
You're a MNet mum and as such this means that 99% of the time you are right. So trust yourself on this one and good luck with the move.

xena · 12/10/2006 13:21

have been memorising "I've spoken to DS and I have told him not to do it again and if there is a problem come and find me" then will end the conversation before arguement ensues!

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