How do I deal with a 5yr DD who keeps telling me .......

[bythesouthsea]

that I don't love her/like her? Normally after she has been naughty and we have had to tell her off. It really really upsets me and is a cumulation of low level nautiness (spelling?) that just escalates into a huge row. I suddenly looked at myself yesterday and through 'god you're turning into one of those women on supernanny' - any help/advice please - fed up with crying and feeling I cannot cope.

my dd went through this,id get really upset and hug her and spoil her.but then i realised thats why she was doing it so from then we just said yes i do and left it at that,she only said it a couple more times!make sure you tell her you love her every morning just so she knows!

DD1 sometimes says that we dont love her if she is told off or if one of us shouts,i tell her that we love her very much but we dont always like her when she is naughty.

You can do the 'I always love you, and nothing will change that, it's just the way you were behaving that I don't like' thing? And agree with telling her you love her at other times.

Not been through this yet - waiting for it though. I've heard so many mums say this has happened. When it's said because she's being told off etc I'd be inclined to think it was an attention seeking behaviour, designed to get you to stop telling her off, not a true expression of her feelings. I have thought about what I'd do If DS said that, and I think it would just be to say 'don't be silly, of course I love/like you but I don't like what you have done/are doing and that is why I'm telling you off' and then ignore him if he said it again. If you stop reacting to it, she'll probably stop doing it - just follow through with your discipline anyway and then she'll know it won't work. Lots of praise when she's good too and tell her you love her at other times of the day.

And I'm sure she does love and like you, you're her mummy!

Sorry should have said 'thought' not 'through' - duh

Thank you so much for your quick responses - yes I am tempted to say ' no I don't like you' but just the thought of saying it brings tears to my eyes! My DD2 is nearly 2 and whilst they do adore each other and have done from day one I think she may only just started being jealous - DD1 is also on yr 1 at school and is very very tired. I work full time, husband works away Tues > Fri so feel guilty and v crap when we have these clashes. At least I know it happens to others so get a little comfort - thanks!