How the hell am I going to cope with the teenage years??
I've always thought he has fairly low self esteem but I don't know if I'm just making excuses for his rudeness and bad behaviour.
I bend over backwards trying to make sure he has everything he needs; he gets to go to football classes because that's his new 'thing'; I play football and chess with him after school when he wants to (not every day but at least once a week)... But he has to be so bloody awkward when I ask something of him. Ask him to help his little brother with something, he will groan and moan and do it so half heartedly I might as well not have even fucking bothered, ask him to do his homework... same thing... Anything he doesn't want to do is done to such a fucking sloppy standard that if he carries on like this, I have no idea how he will cope in the real world as an adult.
I have been very good recently at not letting him see that I'm getting pissed off with his little attempts at winding me up, the most recent thing being 'I don't want to give you a bedtime kiss/cuddle... because I'm too old'... This is only ever said when I've done something that has pissed him off (like not let him watch an extra ten minutes of tv/stay up a bit later/do something else he wants to do)... Okay fine, I went with it... But tonight I lost it, not massively but there was some shouting from me because when I do try and speak to him calmly he just shrugs his shoulders, says 'I don't know' or tells me he doesn't care.
I can't cope with his shitty fucking attitude, I cannot stand the way that he behaves sometimes and I don't know how to handle it. It will only get worse as he approaches adolescence, I'm torn between thinking 'he's a manipulative, spoilt little sod' and 'he's got low self esteem, I need to support him through these arsey blips he has'.
God I sound like a massive bitch but he's so hard to deal with, good as gold at school but a really quirky character that I struggle to be around sometimes.
He has the ability to sap all joy out of a situation, for example - we went to a zoo a few months back (me and my two sons and the daughter of my friend who is 8), my ten year old acted like a moody little git the entire day, would barely speak to anyone or get involved with the fun (this is the sort of thing he does enjoy, he LOVES animals but seems to think he's too cool to do anything with me/his little brother), kept walking really far in front and then had a strop when I told him he had to hold my hand.
Another example, we went to a party a few weeks ago where most of the children were younger than him. He sat in a corner and sulked with a right bloody face on, saying that there was nothing to do, he was bored and that he couldn't play with anyone as he was too old. I tried to talk to him, tried to coax him to a table where there were some suitable craft activities but he refused so eventually I gave up and left him to stew.
It's like he has developed this bloody moody persona that he feels he needs to keep up when he's at home, with his friends he's a bundle of joy and sunshine though.
Sorry for the essay but I'm so tired of this. How the fuck do people cope with their children???