question for those with daughters...................

[stoppinatthegrave]

how old was your daughter when you explained about periods?? or at what age would you expect for them to be able to deal with an explanation??

My mum never actually got around to telling me and i found out from school gossip (thanks for that mum!!)

How do you explain without scaring them, because to describe it sounds quite horrendous.

We don't lock the bathroom door, so from a young age dd1 knew something about it. I always answered questions, so it never became a high-curiosity issue.

yes very young - I also had a baby when she was 8 so it all came out then. makes it easier to be open early - less embarrassment later

We too had an open door policy and she saw me dealing with my periods so it wasn't a surpise.I talked to her as it came up iykwim.I also got a few books out of the library and she read them.

My dd is 5, we've had chats about where babies come from, and she's also seen me bleeding and using towels, so the question has already come up.

I think it's important that she knows; I was 9 when mine started and knew nothing. Even when they started my mother didn't tell me about them.

Dd knows the basics already, and I've told her something along the lines of:

As you grow up your body starts to change, on the inside and on the outside, and one of these changes is that your body starts to get ready for when you are really grown up and want to have babies. Ladies can have babies because they have eggs inside them, and every month one of these eggs starts to get ready to make a baby, just in case that's what the lady wants. If the lady doesn't make a baby then the egg is flushed away, and that's called a period. There will be a bit of blood, but you can wear special liners in your knickers to stop it getting on your clothes, and you might feel a bit grumpy and have a tummy ache. You won't be ready to have a baby when you first have your periods, but your body needs to start practicing and getting ready for a time when you do.

Reassure her, though, that the blood isn't coming because she's hurt herself, it's not that kind of blood really, it's just the egg being flushed away.

My mother (who was a biology teacher so she'd had lots of practice) explained it in terms of the womb getting extra blood in it to make it nice and soft and cosy in case you had a baby, so if you weren't going to have a baby that month the blood would come out and you'd catch it with tampax. She then gave my little brother and me a tampax to take apart and drop in the sink to watch how it expanded! I think I must have been about 8 and my brother 5, but I can't see that there's a lower age limit - surely the younger the better so they just accept it.
(Of course, you'd leave out all the stuff about period pains and grumpiness....)

Have talked about it sort of in an ongoing way with ds since he was little. dd (3) has also been party to conversation so is already aware of 'periods' (hasn't got a clue what it means as such yet though).Ds (9) is fully aware.
I can't remember not knowing about periods myself...my own mother talked about them from when i was little. She had a mother who never told her anything and she was petrified when she first had a period. She was determined not to do the same to her own children

I told dd1 when she turned 9. Planned to do it at 8 but never got round to it. Gave her a girly growing up book at the same time. Every so often she's asked me another little question abouit it all.

I had exactly the same mum-school experience as you, stoppin!

great way of explaining wigwam

i was brought up by my gran who was totally shocked when i started mine aged just turned 11. she took me straight to the doctors to see what was wrong with me. it was just the worst experience ever. she hadn't even started thinking about discussing sex or periods or anything. but i'm sure you'll handle it far better than that!

I too think the best way is to get them used to it as part of your life. I do still try not to expose them to masses of blood, as I think they might freak, but I have explained it a lot. I gloss over a bit about period pains. A bit like labour pains. I shouldn't, but I think that's a worse prospect to look forward to than losing a bit of blood.