Should I offer alternatives at mealtimes?

[LindsayS79]

I have a bit of a lazy DD who is 16 months. She's happy being spoonfed and is reluctant to feed herself. I'm trying to get her off 'baby food' and she's doing not too bad with chewing after a bit of a nightmare time.
Anyway some nights she doesn't seem to want non 'baby food' and fusses. My mum thinks I should whip out the old mashed up food to ensure she eats however I disagree..
Am I wrong to refuse giving her another meal at this age? I usually give her a rice pudding about an hour after dinner but I think she's wanting that now instead of dinner!!! I'm now wondering if I should cut that out and just offer toast for supper before her bedtime milk if she's waiting for the sweeter treat!!!

I agree with your mum that mashed food is the answer, but I think it should be offered as normal by 16 months.

I didn't do BLW, I did spoon feeding of puréed food and moved through to mashed food, chopped up food and finger food. I was very nervous of choking so I just couldn't embrace blw.

I still chop up my just turned 2 year olds foods quite small!

Can she manage mashed food?

She manages absolutely fine with mashed food! I'm worried about giving too much mashed food making her adverse to chewing finger foods etc. Her dad was given puréed food up until he was 5 and unsurprisingly he has major food sensory issues!!
What age did you get onto eating finger foods then?

Ah, I see, slightly different to what I thought, sorry!

By that age, it was a porridge/weetabix or toast breakfast. Toast as thin soldiers, then lunch would be more picky bits like cut cherry tomatoes, a sandwich again into thin soldiers, grated carrot, and for dinner a proper meal like pasta and veg, cottage pie, risotto, noodles and stir fry, beans on toast, omlette, cauliflower cheese, veggie hot dogs, variously chopped into manageable bits.

Spaghetti still gets at least halved!

Does that help more?

Brilliant thanks. So should I just persevere and not 'give in' to giving her baby food? I need to try beans on toast tomorrow. Surely she'll like that!

Will she eat little things, like peas, that she can pick up herself to eat?

No. For the love of God don't give in to food demands now. You have years of that ahead of you. Start as you mean to go on.

That's what I was thinking but my mum thinks I should just be giving her what she'll eat!! She does pick things up but she takes a few bites and just up. She loves pastry, probably as it's easier to chew.
I'm hoping that once she knows there's nothing else coming then she'll put more every into eating!
I just wasn't sure if she was too young for not offering something else. She's quite fly already though!

She's a good age because she can pick things up and try them for herself.

I have one that loves salad and fruit and one that won't touch it. I'm sure if I'd persevered I'd have got the fruit hater to actually eat it.

I'm gutted because she used to eat (or at least try) all fruit and veg put in front of her. However, after a really bad tummy bug she's so fussy. I'm persevering though but it's hard when you prefer things and they get snubbed!

Chewing is important for speech development.. I'd persevere.

I'd give a mixture of foods / textures (including something you know she likes) at the beginning of each meal, so you can be confident she's had something and won't be going to bed hungry. Much better IMO than offering alternatives if she refuses the first option - that is definitely encouraging her to be fussy.

I've got three DC, all good eaters, and they all went through a fussy stage at around this age. I think it's a power thing - they realise they have the option of saying no! Stay calm and don't turn meals into a battle and she'll probably be fine in a few weeks.

Also my DS1 liked to be spoon fed at that age (he's 9 so this was before BLW) and he's now a great eater who eats everything and always finishes his veg!

Whenever I've had issues with ds I've always given him challenging foods at lunchtime & favourites at tea time. That way he'll never go to bed hungry. (We had a bad start to bfing so I've always been a bit of a feeder!) after illness we ended up with lots of baked beans & scrambled eggs, yoghurt & fruit purée but he got over it & it passed. The best advice I got was just to go with it & he'll sort himself out.

Ds at 3 still gets tired by tea time, especially if it's late and we've had a busy day. He'll push food away, even when hungry cos he's too tired to bother. If I help him get the food on the fork he's quite happy to eat it. (Btw ds is a human dustbin for food & eats everything!) I remember being too tired & not wanting to bother when I was a kid too.

I just think it's good to remember they're kids & not to make it a battleground. if we try to encourage & offer new things they'll not end up with problems.

Thanks all. I'm just so deflated as I've done everything possible to make eating a fun experience and not giving negative attention if she fusses. As I say, she was adventurous before her tummy bug!
She's had no appetite all week and I'm hoping it's down to teething as she's tugging at her ears and holding her mouth. She's not even let a spoon near her in two days
That is on top of her just not wanting to chew food! Hopefully these teeth will help!

Don't feel sad OP. Honestly, I think she would be very unusual if she never went through a fussy eating stage!