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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help, haircut stress!!!!

16 replies

hmb · 14/04/2004 19:07

I have just survived giving my 4 year old ds a hair cut. He goes bonkers every time he has it cut. And I mean absolutly bonkers, sometimes to the point where he throws up. We have tried lots of hairdressers/barbers and he is the same in them all, creates a masive fuss and it takes 2 adults to hold him still while he has his hair cut.

I decided to cut it at home today, I always cut dh's hair with clippers. Ds has had his hair clippered before, and he is no better or worse than it being cut, and it is a lot safer to use the clippers when he is thrashing around.

I have tried all sorts of bribes and enducements, but nothing seems to work, any ideas???

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fimbles · 14/04/2004 19:36

My dd 22 months had her haircut last wednesday at home and honestly you would have thought she was being murdered. We had to put her in the highchair to control her. This was her first official haircut by someone else. The thing is she has seen dh and myself geting her haircut many times but this has made no impression on her.

I've read on other threads that you can by books on subjects like this I think they are called Tipsy & Tom books (something like that)

Maybe with your ds being slightly older than my dd he might be able to appreciate/understand it better.

I think they just don't want to be fussed and it is the same with buying shoes aswell.

Maybe someone with a little more experience can advise you which I will take on board aswell.

Here's to the next haircut!!!!

maisystar · 14/04/2004 19:39

i cut my ds hair with clippers and in exchange for sitting still he gets to clipper the hair on my arms!!! no am not freakishly hairy person but is the only way ive found to get him to sit still!! will def be watching this thread for other ideas.......

Original poster

hmb · 14/04/2004 19:40

It sounded as if we had him on the rack!!

We also have a problem with shoes, got that to do in Friday

At least he will not need a haircut for at least 3-4 months!

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Original poster

hmb · 14/04/2004 19:41

Maiseystar ROTFL!!!!

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Monkeysmum · 14/04/2004 19:51

There is a hairdressers near where we live called juniors and they specialise in kids hair, it's great. The TV is on all of the time with kids programmes to distract them, loads of toys to play with while in the chair and while they wait and they children get a lolly or a biscuit when their hair is done. Both my kids (3.5 and nearly 2) love it and have never cried, might be worth checking out if there is something similar in your area.

Jimjams · 14/04/2004 19:53

Nope- but we have the same. Luckily my hairdresser has known me since I was a child (gave me my first haircut) and comes to our home. DS1 absolutely loses it.

It's sensory in ds1's case. Probably painful/unbearable for him. We try to cut it fairly often so each cut isn't too long- and I try to give him choc buttons at the same time. Can't say it works though.

He doesn't mind anyone touching his head and since doing BIBIC with him he can now wear hats- but haircuts are still too much.

Codswallop · 14/04/2004 19:56

make some one else take him.! friends son did this and then he went with his g ma and sat still.

also I saw a kid pissing about in a hair dressers the other day and I thought he was too old to perfprm like that and th hairdresser agreed - he just needed a few stern words rather than the Dad endlessley wittering on

Codswallop · 14/04/2004 19:57

Obviouslt this kid wasnt sn- jsut a spoilt brat !

Original poster

hmb · 14/04/2004 20:14

As you know Jimjams ds isn't sd, but has 'tendencies', and this is one of them, bigtime. I think that it has it's root in sensory issues (but of an order of magnitude less than ASD kids). He is the same over shoes, getting his teeth brushed etc.

Don't think that the lolly thing would work as he, dh and I ended up covered in hair! What japes. In the end we just had to pin him down and get on with it.

Shoe buying has improved lately and we now only need the one visit to get it done, it used to take 3 goes!

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Original poster

hmb · 14/04/2004 20:14

SN not sd!

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Jimjams · 14/04/2004 21:33

It might be worth having a read of "The out of synch child" hmb by Carole Stock something or other. That has a lot of advice about sensory issues. DS1's sensory programme has helped him a lot (just not with haircuts!). I was impressed today when the hospital put a wrist band name thing on him- a year ago there is no way he would have tolerated that. Today he wore it for 6 hours before asking to take it off. Shoes and things are much better as well.

samwifewithkid · 14/04/2004 22:25

Hi, I am a qualified hairdresser, but now a SAHM.

Been there done that with kids screaming the place down in the shop. If you stick with one shop and one stylist eventually over time your ds might get used to the person and calm down, but this will be very stressful for both hairdresser and son in the mean time.

I have cut a lot of kids hair in their own home, with familiar toys, videos etc... around them. Have you a mobile hairdresser in your area? Ask friends and family as recomendations are best.

Bribery, sounds awful to say this, but sometimes its the only thing that works.

As mentioned a salon just for kids with all the distractions, but they tend to be expensive.

If you do decide to use clippers at home then you can buy a longer attachment (a No 8), from a hairdressing wholesalers, the kits normally only go up to 4 which can be a bit short especially in the winter. Could you put a mat down in the lounge and put his fav video on? I use a groundsheet to stop the hair going on the carpet. I would stick with the clippers as is easier to get an even hair cut when hes wriggling around.

I think it would be less stressful all round if you could try to do it yourself at home, until he is able to go to a hairdressers.

Good Luck, any other hair tips just ask!

Original poster

hmb · 15/04/2004 07:02

Thank you for the advive Samwifewithkid, I'll try the in front of the video idea, it worked well when dd had nits!

The sensory thing is getting to be less of an issue, he used to have a problem with loud noises but that seems to be getting better. Things have imroved a lot over the last year. His language skills are still a little behind but have improved beyond recognition. I shouln't moan about the hair cuts, its just that the poor lad gets so stressed.

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throckenholt · 15/04/2004 13:59

my little horror (2.75) sat wonderfully still for half a hair cut and then decided "I don't like it" and wouldn't let me touch it again. Needless to say he looks pretty stupid at the moment but he doesn't care !

geogteach · 15/04/2004 14:21

Another recomendation for Juniors here - my sons hair grows so fast he has had it cut every 6 weeks since 10 months - he is by no means perfect but they are tolerant and there are plenty of distractions.

tamum · 15/04/2004 18:14

No advice, hmb, but maybe a bit of reassurance- ds was exactly like this with hair, shoes and all the rest of it, and just grew out of it fairly suddenly. He was about 5 when he finally got used to it, but he was just the same as your ds, and not spoilt, just truly scared.

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