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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is it really possible he is just a bad tempered baby?

19 replies

upandaway · 05/10/2006 19:13

OPINIONS PLEASE-
Ds 8 months screams ALL the time. Always has.

Example: at a lovely friend's house today she gave him loads of fantastic toys he had never seen before. He dismantled them and then had a massive rage and bashed them together! Surely other babies would have explored them for at least 5 mins before having a paddy ?

I cannot go to the shops as he rages in his pram.

Cant eat out in cafes as he will yell and yell!

Even my Mother is reluctant to have him these days.

(I have older children too who were no angels but nothing like this)

Is he a brilliant minded frustrated child ?
Or is he just a bad tempered baby?

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Original poster

upandaway · 05/10/2006 19:14

Or could there be something more sinister ? (am beginning to worry)

OP posts:

lulunaticmama · 05/10/2006 19:17

someone i know had similar issues - kids would just cry and cry, impossible to soothe, fragile mood - seemed to get better as they got older and could do more for themselves, seemed to stem from frustration.

what are the stress levels like in your house

are you and your partner laid-back or quite highly strung

reason i ask is the friend i am referring to is quite high strung and things often feel tense --- and this can affect the kids moods....

bakedpotatooooowoooh · 05/10/2006 19:20

Maybe he will chill out when he starts to move around more and communicate. DD was a bit like this, and in retrospect it was as if she was frustrated by her babyiness... she definitely calmed down when she started to talk and walk.

Tessiebear · 05/10/2006 19:33

My DS3 was like this at a similar age. He is now 15 months and is getting a lot better since he is walking and being able to express himself more. He still has his moments and is quite a clingy child. No - one used to be able to take him out except me (and my mum is great with kids). Now he goes out with her and she says that he is the best behaved and most interested out of the three of them (at the same age). Give it another few months and hopefully it will improve. Also - he used to really pick up on my mood - and i used to get quite stressed back then

Tessiebear · 05/10/2006 19:35

agree with baked potato about being "frustrated by babiness" DS3 would much rather be more grown up than his years and plays with much more grown up toys. He much prefers adult company and "helping" me with jobs and having little responsiblities etc

USAUKMum · 05/10/2006 19:55

I had 2 like this. Though DS was worse I believe because he saw DD doing stuff. I swear he lifted his head up off the floor at 2 wks old, look around and thought "hey, why am I stuck down here doing sod all while all you lot are having fun." and proceeded to scream for the next 6 mths or so. Frustration levels dropped with each ability mastered (sitting, crawling, walking [10.5 mths thank god], and now finally talking). So that at just over 2, he is a lovely little boy. It's rough but he'll grow out of it!

Original poster

upandaway · 05/10/2006 20:00

Yes I think I do wonder if his anger could be that he is frustrated by the babyness.
Lulunaticmum, I suppose it's a busy household and we are quite a lively bunch. But when its just me and Ds and things are calm he is still like this.

But its affecting my day to day life now so much. Friends have stopped inviting us out and I always feel I have to leave early because of his behaviour.

Dont laugh but I cant do any house work unless he is asleep which is never for very long. Everything is falling apart at home and the older kids are starting to resent him a bit too.

Yet when I do pick him up he quietens but thrashes around looking at everything so that its uncomfortable to hold him. (always getting headbutted).
I really truly adore him and his was very much planned but this is getting out of control. I am supposed to be an experienced Mum !

Tessie do you think I should even do this Baby signing thing, would that help?
Oh Gosh I am ranting now, so sorry

OP posts:

Kiwiem · 05/10/2006 20:18

Upandaway, my DS doesn't necessarily scream all the time but he gets hugely frustrated by not being able to walk/talk/run marathons etc! He will never, ever sit still (except now with the willy fascination in the bath re other thread ) - at the moment he is never happy unless he's standing and cruising. He also has tantrums which I wasn't expecting at 7/8 months! It is v tiring but I'm hoping it means he is just a bright and inquisitive monster and the hyperactivity and frustration will lessen as he gets older. Feel for you though

Original poster

upandaway · 05/10/2006 20:23

Hello Kiwiem! Yes that is the only time he isnt yelling !

OP posts:

lulunaticmama · 05/10/2006 20:35

shame your friends stopped inviting you...you need a bit of support! have you got something to put him in

an entertainer - thing they sit in with stuff to do on it!
baby swing
walker etc...

sounds just like my friends LO - it did ease as she became older and more able to and do things for herself -

agree about it being a sign of inquisitiveness

might invent something amazing when grown!

Original poster

upandaway · 05/10/2006 20:44

Thanks Lulunaticmama.
He copes for about 3 mins in any contraption and then starts to cry his eyes out looking at me.

I sometimes have to take him to work with me and so I have to put him in a babycarrier which he loves!

OP posts:

aviatrix · 05/10/2006 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

zippy539 · 05/10/2006 21:15

Sorry you are going through this upandaway. I totally sympathise. DS was a nightmare around the eight month mark. He just bawled non-stop and we stopped getting invites too. He's now a charming, lively, inquistitive five year old but we did go through about five months of sheer hell with him. The turning point was his first birthday when he seemed to undergo a complete personality transplant. I still have a photo of him at his first birthday party when he positively beamed for the first time in his life. He still has occasional moments but he hasn't looked back since.

Don't have any brilliant advice but I reckon he's just frustrated at himself. I'd get him a chair so he can sit up and take part, and get yourself a pair of ear plugs. It will pass. All sympathies.

Original poster

upandaway · 05/10/2006 22:02

thanks Zippy. Comforting words

OP posts:

blueshoes · 05/10/2006 22:22

upandaway, my dd was very challenging as a baby. She required a lot of work on my part, in carrying her around, showing her things, nursing her to sleep, holding her whilst she was asleep, pushing her in the buggy and keeping her in motion at all times, otherwise she would cry her eyes out. Like yours, she would not be in any contraption for more than 3 mins. At 8 months, she also refused to be with anyone other than me. She was my first and I never went out with other mums because of her difficult behaviour. Exhausting.

I second all the other posters that it gets better as they hit the milestones. Now at 3, my dd is very sweet, engaging, loving and charming. I am glad I tried so hard with her in her baby days - it is worth it in the end hth

dizzymeg · 06/10/2006 13:32

My 11 week old DD is also like your DS. She always has to be looking at something or being walked around with. She refuses point blank to have a nap in the day time even though she is shattered, think she thinks she'll miss something.
Also having a problem with her at night. She screams for up to 2 hours (we keep trying to comfort and top-up feed etc) before finally going to sleep. Once asleep she's great and only wakes once, but can't seem to break this 2 hour habit. Went away for weekend and she went straight down to sleep both nights, but now back home, taking 2 hours again... HELP, neighbours must be sick of it !!!!!

Momoftwo · 07/10/2006 19:36

You have really described my 8 month old as well. He is prone to crying all day long, unless I am carrying him around. I have an older son, and it makes family life hard. My second is an early physical developer (crawling at 5 months, standing and cruising now) and I think maybe he won't be happy until he is walking. I hope it is soon!

I am sorry that I don't have any advice, just hugs and to let you know that you are not alone!

kayzed · 07/10/2006 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mirage · 08/10/2006 21:35

I had one of these too.You have all my sympathy.DD2 was a real shocker,nothing seemed to make her happy & she screamed,cried & seemed miserable despite whatever we tried.My mum & sister are nursery nurses & they said that she was hard work too.She seemed to hate being a baby & must have been so frustrated watching dd1 running about,because as soon as she got to about 12 months & was able to walk,she changed completely.

She is now a charming,happy child & we often get comments from strangers on what a lovely,cheeky happy face she has.It is hard to believe she is the same child.We took her to Spain a few weeks back & she was an absolute joy to travel with.6 months ago I dreaded even putting her in the car seat.

It sounds like your ds is frustrated.As soon as he can move around independently,I'm sure he'll be happier.Good luck.

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