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Behaviour/development

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16 month old DS hitting, scratching, pinching - How to cope??

9 replies

cherrylola · 09/11/2014 15:25

My LB has been doing this daily for a couple of months now and no amount of firm 'No' / putting down / trying to ignore it has made any difference. He does it to me and DP mainly but has started to do it to other family members recently. Luckily he hasn't done it to the childminder or any other children, yet!!

It is at its worse when he is tired and I think it must be a seaboard issue, perhaps it feels so nice to him when he is doing it he thinks it's a nice thing for the recipient??

I just don't know what to do about it, I'm finding it extremely difficult to cope with being physically hurt (he is surprisingly strong and draws blood) by my tiny son on a regular basis, it makes me very upset even though I absolutely know it isn't his fault and that he can't help it, he is too young to understand. We try to be gentle parents so are at a loss for what else we can do but it has to stop because it's really affecting my relationship with my son now Sad

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cherrylola · 09/11/2014 15:26

*sensory (not seaboard, what the heck is seaboard predictive text??)

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Gurraun · 09/11/2014 15:30

I am having the same issue (recent post on this) I think the best advice is to consistently ignore it and assume (hope) he will grow out of it as communication skills etc develop. Try not to let it upset you (although I am upset by my thinning head of hair)!!

cherrylola · 09/11/2014 15:40

Oh yes, I forgot to mention the clumps of hair he can wrench out!
It's bloody horrid isn't it!

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Gurraun · 09/11/2014 15:43

It is BUT (seems ironic given i posted to ask how to deal with it) in my limited experience (2dc) it'll hopefully just be a phase. Repeat after me, 'this too shall pass'!!

cherrylola · 09/11/2014 15:47

Urgh I know, these darn phases seem to be worse each time a new one kicks in Confused

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lotsofcheese · 09/11/2014 15:51

To be honest, I wouldn't ignore it. The younger you can set boundaries about behaviour, the better.

I would say "no" very firmly & remove my child from the situation.

Coyoacan · 09/11/2014 15:56

I'm definitely not a child-care expert, only had one dd, but I am surprised you think he doesn't know what he is doing. When my dd was ten-months-old I remember that she was only ever violent when she was angry. So I think you should credit your ds with a bit more intelligence.

As to how to deal with, I don't know, but I'm not certain that ignoring is the answer, surely part of their learning is to find out that this is totally unacceptable, no matter how they feel?

cherrylola · 09/11/2014 16:17

I take your point Coya. I suppose I think he is too young to understand that it is so painful but perhaps he does know that and I just wish he didn't!

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clairemarie5 · 10/11/2014 08:59

My LB is into this too, hitting with his fist, pulls my hair out, kicks out when lay down, pinching and biting.. usually when he's excited and giddy or annoyed, but sometimes he's totally calm and does it just for the sake of it it seems! He is really strong too and he's had me in tears and bleeding at times Confused which makes me sad because he's such a cute sweet little guy the rest of the time.. I just consistently tell him NO. "No bite" "No punch" "No kick".. of course he doesn't listen to a word I say but fingers crossed for one day!

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