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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Naughty step for 14 month old

21 replies

fells · 04/10/2006 21:18

I'm not sure if I'm going to sound like a bit of a Nazi but when should I start discipling my 14 month old? We have no major problems with her except her persistence in switching the Sky box and DVD player on and off. We have always said "No" to her firmly several times but she ignores this and actually seems to delight in doing what she knows she shouldn't. I am convinced she understands "no". We usually end up picking her up and moving her away only for her to crawl (she can't walk yet!)straight back over to the TV and start pressing the buttons again.

I realise this is typical older baby/young toddler behaviour and is probably just the tip of the iceberg but I was wondering whether any Mumsnetters had attempted a 'naughty step' type sanction with a similar aged child?

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Original poster

fells · 04/10/2006 21:20

I mean disciplining not discipling!

OP posts:

trinityrhino · 04/10/2006 21:20

I don't think they are old enough at this age to understand the connection with doing something and then being put on the step. I may be wrong but I wouldn't feel that my dd2 (18 months) would 'get' what was going on so I don'ty think it would be a useful form of dicipline at this age

colditz · 04/10/2006 21:21

I wouldn't as she is unlikely to understand why mummyn is leaving her on her own. Just move her. and move her. and move her.

I do have huge sympathy, ds1 was such a fiddler, he used to demolish the house!

kiskidee · 04/10/2006 21:26

no. the best course of action for a long time yet is to say no and distract their attention with something else. when she is a bit older and you say no and she stops before touching it or touches but doesn't remove it, praise, praise, praise within a couple seconds.

it is a bit like training a puppy at this age.

NastyNemo666 · 04/10/2006 21:28

At this age its distraction. I used time out with Ds from around 18mths but that is only because he had a lot more understanding for his age. DD is nearly 10mths and nowhere as aware of things as Ds was so it will probably not be used with her until she is a lot older.

HellyMnelly · 05/10/2006 11:18

Ds is 15 months and went through a phase of taking the Sky card out of the digibox a month or so ago. I found telling him'no' very firmly and moving him away, then if (when) he toddled back to it and took it out again, I just ignored him. Of course, this did mean missing a bit of the programme but I found that he soon lost interest once he realised it wasn't the hilarious game with mummy that he thought it was. I don't think he'd have any understanding of the naughty step at the age he is now.

oliveoil · 05/10/2006 11:23

I don't use the naughty step on my nearly 4 year old as I don't agree with it.

ignore the bad and praise the good seems to have worked for me so far.

at 14 months, just say no and move them away. You may lose the will to live however as you will do it over and over again!!

Bozza · 05/10/2006 11:26

When mine got to this age I used to pick them up and sit them on the hall with their back to me. It wasn't naughty step as I allowed them to come straight back but just gave them the idea that this wasn't what I wanted them to do. Better than saying no all the time as well.

Personally I do believe in naughty step and do use it with my 5 and 2 yos and have done from a young age although fairly infrequently for the 5yo now.

Bozza · 05/10/2006 11:27

Although I don't call it naughty step - just "the step".

oliveoil · 05/10/2006 11:34

I tried it with dd1 - it is The Stairs in our house but it made her even more upset and didn't work at all. I leave the room with her and she has her tantrum and then comes out 5 mins after full of apologies (usually). And is made me feel dreadful as she really was inconsolable if I put her there.

dd2 is a completely different character so may need a different approach with her.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 05/10/2006 11:40

Fells - I really think 14 months old is far too young for a naughty step. As others have said, just move her away.

As you've said "I realise this is typical older baby/young toddler behaviour" You could also let her do it, how long will she do it for? 5 minutes? 10? She'll move on to something else eventually.

I haven't used a naughty step with DS (6) and don't intend to with DD (19 months) either.

fennel · 05/10/2006 11:45

we are only just using a naughty step with dd3, who's nearly 2.5. I think we used it at under two with her sister though who was very demanding and also very vocal so we were sure she understood things.

dd3 is desparate to go on the naughty step, like her big sisters. She's only been on it once as she's generally a very compliant child, but she sees it as a badge of being a "big girl".

CristinaTheAstonishing · 05/10/2006 11:47

Just to clarify - I meant do the switching on/off for 5 or 10 minutes, not the naughty step.

Bozza · 05/10/2006 12:59

DD actually sat proud when she first got sent to the step - something that had previously been reserved for DS. It was like a rite of passage. And I made her sit on her bed last night when she tried to bite me because I lifted her out of the bath and she was trying to release my hand. And I made her sit on it again when she hit DS hard on the back.

Bozza · 05/10/2006 12:59

Oh snap Fennel.

Spoo · 05/10/2006 13:55

I use the corner for my 20mnth DS. He does understand what is happening because we often get an apology at the end of his timeout. However we only use it as a last resort and for stuff that is really naughty e.g. biting, hitting, throwing - anything that might damage him or others. We started quite early at 15 mnths but I think you know yourself whether it works or not and I think it is dependent on the child and their level of understanding. For something like playing with the Sky box - I would ignore it as she is probably doing it for a reaction. I would tell her no once or maybe twice and then maybe start looking at a book or toy in a really interested way completely ignoring her. She'll soon stop when she doesn't get your attention.

fennel · 05/10/2006 13:58

Bozza

I suspect dd3 is trying to be naughty to get on the step but just isn't very successful at being bad.

MoosMa · 05/10/2006 14:01

DD (13 months) persistently switches a socket in the kitchen off so the dehumidifier goes off. I've told her it's dangerous to play with sockets as she does understand "dangerous" and "nasty", like she knows she's not to go in the bathroom cupboard because there are nasty things in there which could hurt her.

She seems to think the socket is a game though, so I've taken to removing her to the other room which makes her v cross. She comes straight back and does it again though, so I remove her a couple of times then leave it switched off and she tires of it fairly soon.

mummydear · 05/10/2006 14:08

In the meatime can't you put a protective cover over the DVD and sky box so she cant get at the buttons .

mammaduck · 05/10/2006 14:19

My ds (12 mnths) does exactly the same thing.

It drove us mad! eventually we bought a cheapy 'tallboy' type thing from IKEA and put the DVD player and digibox on top of it in the corner behind the tv. We don't watch TV during the day when he's awake so we just put elephant tape over the tv button and also one of the floor sockets that he kept turning off.

Bozza · 05/10/2006 14:27

Fennel I am sure she will hone her technique before long.

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