Toilet accidents at school

[spiderjumping]

DD is in full time school and keeps having toilet accidents at school (both poo and pee). School will usually help change her if she's done a wee but will ring me to collect her if she does a poo.

It's becoming more and more frequent and school have now taken action and reverted her back to part time. I understand it's not school's responsibility to have to deal with this.

Toilet accidents only happen in school. Outside of school she is fine.

She has been fully trained for a while and has no other medical issues/SN. She is 3 years old.

Please can anyone offer any advice? I'm feeling desperate

For our family this problem had its roots pre potty training and ds was on medication for four years to sort out the constipation and withholding cycle. He had an understanding school and a ta with the patience of a saint. His teacher also kept a jar of haribo in the art cupboard just for ds whenever he did a poo at school. By the end of y1 he was reliable at school and apart from some very minor blips in y2 has been fine since. He came off the medication very very slowly but it's nearly a year since he finished taking it and it's all in the past now.

My DD used to do this when she was distracted when she first started school at 4. She finally solved it on her own. Now she has one cup of water all day and never goes at school. She barely drinks at home either without me nagging her. I think she has control issues. Maybe this is what's going on with your DD?

Firstly, the law says that children should not be prevented from accessing an education by not being toilet trained ( that isn't the exact wording but it is the gist of it). This means the school are not allowed to insist that you take her home so I suggest you put a stop to this straight away - meet with them and insist they put a care plan for your dd in place. This will involve them checking on her (discretely) at regular intervals during the day and changing her if necessary.

Secondly, try not to worry too much but see if you can very gently tease out the the problem with your dd. My ds2 had similar problems all through reception. In the end (and it took a while) it turned out he was terrified of the school toilets (they had an extractor fan that sounds like Darth Vader apparently). Once we/ the school helped him overcome this fear the problem was solved.

Does she need to be there full time? That's quite a lot for a 3 year old. I'd cut down to mornings unless necessary for work

I'm planning on having a meeting with the school about it. I feel I need to pull myself together first and give it thought.

She does not have a legal requirement to be there full time no, but all other 3 year olds follow that particular set up. All her local peers who are the same age all attend the school.

It is a necessary for us as myself and DH both work. The whole situation is already putting a strain on my work place.

DS is in reception and had a couple of soiling accidents since starting in September. School have been very discrete, helpful and sympathetic. your nursery sounds very unhelpful especially given your DC is only 3.