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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

is this a record?

10 replies

maisystar · 14/04/2004 00:30

my ds is 3yrs5mnths and has been out of nappies since he was 2yrs 2mnths. he was definately ready and dry for about 4 mnths with few accidents. however we have been on a gradual downhill slope since then. he has probably 5+ wee accidents a day(but would be more if i didnt remind him) and rarely actually tells me he needs a wee. he doesnt seem to mind his pants being wet and just says 'never mind u can change them' or 'ill keep them dry another day'(which he doesnt). i recentlt put him back in pull ups (on the advice of his pre school) which he doesnt like, he doesnt wee in them but as soon as i put him back into 'real' pants he has accidents. am not massively stressed but am aware that im not being consistent at the moment, simply cos i dont know what to do for the best. should he be in pull ups ....or not? doctor and health visitor have not been much use. any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!!
(he doesnt have any problems with poo accidents and has been dry at night for about 9 mnths-will wake up for a wee and keep his jamys completely dry)
is v glamorous this motherhood lark eh?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lydialemon · 14/04/2004 00:48

I would say....if there is no physical cause (infection etc), and he really doesn't like pull-ups, stick with the pull-ups. It sounds a bit mean, bur he's old enough to understand cause and effect here. IF he can't be trusted in pants THEN he has to wear nasty old pull-ups - hopefully he'll ask you for the pants back when he gets fed up.

Personally I hated pull-ups, but that was because mine just wee'd in them, so they were a bit pointless for us!

Hpoe you sort something out soon! I'm off to bed (I swore I'd go to bed before 12 tonight....)

Chandra · 14/04/2004 01:12

Just a thought, if he is starting in a new environment (new school, new nursery group, new family routine, etc) the accidents may be due to stress, nothing to worry about if this is the cause it will sort itself up once he gets used to the changes.

Jimjams · 14/04/2004 08:23

do you think he gets busy and forgets he's in pants (but not pull ups as they're all scratchy). Maybe you could try putting a disposable nappy liner in his pants (can get them from mothercare- and Sainsburys the kooshies ones are quite scratchy).

That may be a crazy idea but all I could think of!

StripyMouse · 14/04/2004 08:33

This sounds familiar - my DD1 is 3 in a couple of months. She was brilliant, potty trained in her own time but fairly quickly just after 2nd birthday, dry at night not longer after. She has had very fews accidents until the last coupel of months. I reckon it is because she is learning about being able to "hang on" for a bit and is just no good at judging it. She jumps around a bit and then denies needing a wee - sometimes only to leg it to the bathroom and just making it in time, others, she is too busy/lazy and we have accidents. I am trying to play it cool and not get too cross, hoping she works it out for herself. Dunno if this is a good strategy, just don?t want to make a big deal out of it - saying that, if she doesn?t work it out soon, I am gong to have to start having a few "gentle" words with her about it all and maybe set a few goals...

Original poster

maisystar · 14/04/2004 10:22

hi, he has had a few changes over the last year but because the potty training has gone downhill so gradually is hard to pinpoint any one thing. it could be that he forgets hes in pants, i know he finds pull ups uncomfortable(evil mother!)so is definately aware that hes got one on but dont really want the pull ups to become a long term feature (especially at £5.65!).

i have always been relaxed about it possibly too much so, i seem to have passed that on to ds!

his pre school have advised me to tell him that it is 'not acceptable' in a firm but obivously not cross way. am not sure about this, what does anyone else think?

(can you tell that all my friends children sailed through potty training?!)

OP posts:

Levanna · 15/04/2004 01:50

Hi Daisystar, we had a similar time with my DD recently, she had been totally dry day and night for about three months, but started wetting again when some relatives came to stay. There was obviously a reason in our case for why she started again and while I thought she was simply forgetting to go to the potty or toilet, I made little fuss. But, we got to a point where she was weeing, I'd change her, she'd wee again, I'd change her, she'd go again....so on. At this point it seemed to me that she was concious of what she was doing, and doing it intentionally, so I started to give her little 'time outs' and explain to her firmly when she did it that there was no need to, and within a day of approaching it that way, she was back to normal. I found it a predicament as we were extremely cautious of never making an issue of toilet training, and she (we all!) enjoyed coming to it in her own time. But we decided it was time for a boundry in this case, and it's worked ok. (For now !)

Levanna · 15/04/2004 01:51

so sorry - that should have been 'maisystar'!

Original poster

maisystar · 16/04/2004 19:55

think i am going to try being a bit firmer. tonight he deliberately weed on the sofa because he didnt want to stop watching telly! there was a potty in the room but he just couldnt be bothered, is v lazy-hmmm wonder where he gets that from

OP posts:

Jimjams · 17/04/2004 09:05

I think it does take a while to learn how to hang on properly. We have the opposite problem with ds1 now (having spent a lot of time wetting himself!). On Wednesday he hung on for too long (hadn't been since 5.30pm on Tuesday) so Wednesday we ended up in casulaty with his bladder in a spasm and him unable to wee.

marthamoo · 17/04/2004 09:08

Some kind of reward system? Star chart? A star for each dry day in pants then a pressie at the end of..oh I dunno, he's pretty little, 5 days say?

That weeing cos you are too engrossed in something to go to the loo rings bells with me as my 7 year old still does it occasionally! Well, he leaves it til the last possible second to go then can't get his trousers down in time...

Nope, glamorous it ain't.

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