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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Rapid Return Hell

9 replies

Spoo · 03/10/2006 21:42

My 20mnth old DS has always slept really well and gone down brilliantly. About a month a go he climbed out of his cot so we moved him to a toddler bed. All was fine for the first few nights. It took maybe half an hour of rapid returns and then he fell asleep. It seems to have got worse though and I cannot figure out what we are doing wrong. Tonight it took and hour and a half. We do all the right things as far as I can see, bit of telly with his milk bathtime then story then night night time to sleep. Then whenever he comes out of his room he returned with no eye contact and put back into bed. He doesn't cry and doesn't try to say anything just reappears five to ten minutes later. I am afraid it has turned into a bit of a game but I don't know what to do. We have tried shutting all the doors upstairs and leaving him but he found his way into our bedroom and was reading my Supernanny book!! We have also tried a stairgate on his room but it was getting in the way with the rapid returns. Has anyone else found it just doesn't work? or do I have to just keep going? Dr Tanya B seems to get it sorted so quickly - or is that just tv?

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Carriebun · 03/10/2006 21:51

Hiya, I have a 4yr old who was exactly the same. I just used the stairgate at the door to his room and he soon got the message. Just a thought but it's got cold the last couple of nights and mine has been out and about a bit after going to bed. Pu the heating in tonight and went down, and stayed down like a dream. MIght be worth a try?!

hairymclary · 03/10/2006 21:54

oh spoo I could have writen that post word for word.
My 20 month old son has also just moved into a bed. Fine for a week, but the last week or so has been a nightmare. I did rapid return for 2 hours the other night.
In the end I told him that if he kept getting out of bed then he couldn't have his dummy. I took it away every time he climbed out. I felt SO awful because he cried when I took it, but it does seem to have worked.
He went down with relatively little fuss this evening (only had to return him twice!)

Original poster

Spoo · 03/10/2006 21:57

My heating went on tonight as well as I also have a 4 mnth DS. I have tried the stairgate on his room but he got truly hysterical and started throwing himself onto the floor at full force. It seems easier to not have him screaming down the house - we normally have two screaming in that case!

I have also tried stickers as he once stayed in bed without getting up. I thought I had done it then. How long did it take for you to get him to stay in bed?

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Carriebun · 03/10/2006 22:16

Hey spoo,from what I remember it took me about a week to get my ds to stay in bed. Moved him at about 18 months, but did take him a but of time to get used to the freedom and not coming out. Other thing I used to do was leave toys in his room so if he really wasn't tired he could get out and play, but wasn't to come back downstairs. Can backfire a bit though, mine was good and has always taken himself back to bed when he's tired but can imagine being a bit more difficult if yours wouldn't do that.
Mine just hates being even a little cold hence heating thought xx

Original poster

Spoo · 03/10/2006 22:19

Thanks guys. I have toys in his room but he doesn't want to play. He is very sociable and will not often play on his own. I might try the dummy thing as my DS still has his dummy at night time Hairy. Twice would be wonderful it might mean I east before nine which I seem to be doing most nights. THanks for your help.
Spoo

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Carriebun · 03/10/2006 22:24

keep going hun - it'll work, you'll get back to dinner at normal time, and your DS 'll go back to being a DS! Just perseverance sometimes hey! xx

hairymclary · 03/10/2006 22:32

oh another thought spoo, does he still have a day time nap?
my little boy is in the process of dropping his and he definitely goes to bed better at night if he has had little or no sleep in the day

Original poster

Spoo · 04/10/2006 16:01

THanks Carriebun. I am going to keep going I think - he WILL get bored eventually. I am also going to try a night light in his room tonight as I suspect he might just want some reassurance somehow. (It is very dark in his room).
Hairy - I have debated dropping his daytime sleep but he seems to need it as otherwise he is really bad tempered in the afternoon. (I also need it!) Thanks for your advice and I'll let you know how tonight goes.

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Original poster

Spoo · 05/10/2006 13:48

Last night was a bit better. About 12 times for rapid return. We had a night light in his room which we have told him is a fairy and if he stays in bed he will get a sticker from the fairy. Needless to say he didn't get one this morning. Not sure whether he fully understands but he did say bye bye to the fairy this morning when we went down for breakfast.

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