Biting - my 21 month old

[Katey]

My DB has always liked a good chew. He bit for the first time at a playgroup before Christmas and nothing since until about 6 weeks ago. He attends nursery 2 mornings a week and although closely supervised makes a lunge for other children a couple of times per session.

He doesn't do it to adults (and has never done it to me) unless he's very frustrated. With the children at the nursery (and often the younger ones) the biting seems unprovoked.

We've read all the text books - acted calmly, reinforced biting wrong etc etc but I'm worried this is turning into a habit. It's going to make him unpopular at nursery and could potentially hurt another child. I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't take my mother's advice and bite him back - although I don't think I could actually do it.
Any advice?

Hi Katey
My 2year old packs a fair bite, and i have resorted to returning the complement! I have to say this did not make a blind bit of difference. Apart from giving me the biggest guilt trip (that makes one million to date). Positive and negative reinforcement is the only answer slowly but surely the biting will stop and they will choose another weapon!

My Poor DS was the victim of my nephews teeth. For no apparent reason my DS was being bit at every opportunity. We tried making DS bit back, but that had no effect except we had 2 little upset kids! We found that by telling nephew off and fussing DS worked. The biting stopped within a few weeks and hasn't started again.

can anyone else offer more advice? my ds is 22 months old and has just started biting to gethis own way with other kids - also pushing and punching. obviously this makes mother toddler days a nightmare - last time I warned him and then took him home on the second bite but tbh as I really really need the contact with other mums I was pretty hacked off all day about it and can't face having to do it again. I have to supervise ds2 as well who is only 4 months old so it's really hard to trail round after ds1the whole time
please please advise me on best course of action!!

Hi Katey
My 20month DD bites too. Unlike yours often reserves it for me and her 4 year old sister but recently started on other children and I hate it - the other mothers look at you (understandably) with such horror. I find I just have to be sitting near her to intervene when I see a possibility of it happening - easier for me with a 4 year old than a 4 month old. My new strategy is to take her out of the room for 1 minute and then ignore while seeing she is safe. She is very sociable so hates being removed. It does lead to tantrums but she knows its wrong and other parents know I'm not ignoring it which makes them a bit more sympathetic. Like you I depend on these times for my sanity so I dont leave and I also think it may be easier for the child to understand if they keep being taken our for short periods when it happens and then go back in again rather leaving altogether. Perhaps explain to other parents and everyone can be aware and then you can leave your baby with someone while you deal with it.HTH

If my 2 year old dd does anything 'violent' to her baby ds I yell very loudly at her so that she knows I am angry ...(might not be very pc, but to my mind this kind of behavioural transgression requires a bit more than a softly softly 'gentle reasoning' approach), and then immediately put her in time out. After leaving time out she must then apologise to her brother.

Its worked a treat - she is so rarely aggressive to him (or other children) now,