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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Hysterical 12 week old in the car.

16 replies

ElphabaTheGreen · 29/10/2014 09:23

I'm currently spending car journeys reciting 'this too shall pass...this too shall pass...' because I know it will, but does anyone have any interim solutions to heal my frayed nerves?

12 week old DS gets absolutely hysterical during car journeys - screaming to vomiting, tears etc etc. It's not the car seat. I can put him in the car seat without being in the car and it's fine. As soon as the car starts the screaming just starts escalating. A dummy sort of works, but it gets spat out several times (especially on a motorway on-ramp where I can then do nothing about putting it back in for the rest of the drive). Music sometimes helps but only temporarily. I'm seriously considering turning off the passenger side air bag and putting him in the front so he can see me to see if this works. At least I wouldn't be leaning back replacing a dummy at every traffic light!

I've got to go out and get some light bulbs for mum and get DS1 from nursery later on and I'm just feeling weak at the prospect.

Any suggestions?? TIA!

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MistletoeBUTNOwine · 29/10/2014 09:31

My DS was the same, has always hated the car. Now at 9 months he's ok a if someone's sat with him in the back.
Can you time it so he's asleep when you put him in?
Or get someone else to go for you? Tbh I found avoiding the car if possible was the best solution.

hollie84 · 29/10/2014 09:31

I'd put him in the front.

Angelface5 · 29/10/2014 09:36

Sorry I have no ideas or solutions. My dd4 was the same when this age the only time she calmed was when we sang to her so myself and my other 2 dds spent most car journeys singing nursery rhymes.
I totally understand how daunting it feels when you going out in the car and your baby cries,I hated every minute of it but it past. Not much help I'm afraid x

CatsCantFlyFast · 29/10/2014 09:44

We had this. I turned off the airbag and tried the front and it made little difference
We changed the car seat and installed a huge rear view mirror, which helped a tiny bit. Playing white noise at FULL VOLUME also helped. But mostly she just got gradually better with time. She's still not great though and we keep car trips to a minimum. You have my sympathy.

butterfly86 · 29/10/2014 09:48

My dd (18 weeks) was exactly the same she is getting better but still doesnt't like it, she is ok if the car is moving but if we stop at traffic lights or get stuck in traffic she gets upset I thought all babies loved the car and went to sleep! If I put her in when she has just been fed and isn't too tired she is better, I used to put her in the front when she was younger and really upset she was ok when she could see me but I do feel safer with her in the back. It will get better op

FishWithABicycle · 29/10/2014 09:51

We had this. We just didn't drive anywhere mire than 45 mins from hone until the phase passed. No solution for you, sorry.

Purplehonesty · 29/10/2014 09:53

Yes a mirror so she can see herself or put her in the front. At least then you can comfort her and replace the dummy

Original poster

ElphabaTheGreen · 29/10/2014 10:06

I am trying to limit it to essential journeys only. No one else to go for me, unfortunately. I wish I could put him in while asleep but he's most definitely not one of those babies who stays asleep during a transfer, so that wouldn't work, unfortunately. YY to him being better when he's well fed and just woken up but that doesn't necessarily coincide with nursery-run time, DS1's weekend activities or appointments :-/ He's on the boob now, though, having just woken up so light-bulb run now, methinks.

I'll try running his white noise of choice through the car speakers to see if that does anything, thanks.

Failing that, I might just see if the front seat helps.

Ugh. I had to carry him around a car park for five minutes yesterday blasting white noise in his ear just to calm him down from a ten minute drive The car conks his big brother out and always has done, so this is just weird.

OP posts:

Seeline · 29/10/2014 10:13

My Ds was always happier in the front so that he could see me and I could talk to him. Also had loads of dangly toys from the handle of his car seat that kept him occupied for a while. Dummy on a clip-on strap so that I could grab it and pop it back in without having to search the car seat/car at traffic lights.
I think he could see out of the car better in the front seat as well which helped.

mustardtomango · 29/10/2014 10:22

Momentary hijack - you can put babies in the front seat?! That would make our journeys so much easier... Is isofix in the front seats normally?

Seeline · 29/10/2014 10:25

You have to disable the front passenger airbag, but yes they can go in the front. I always had my first in the front seat, until he went in to a front facing child seat. the second was much easier as the first was in the back too so could push toys etc at her

CatsCantFlyFast · 29/10/2014 10:33

Theres no isofix in the front of our car so it was seatbelt installation

Original poster

ElphabaTheGreen · 29/10/2014 11:12

Just back from light bulb expedition- much happier boy in the front. Had his eyes fixed on me the whole time and even got a brief smile. Needed to do a bit of one handed driving to hold/replace dummy occasionally but it has to be safer than getting stressed, doing stupid things like speeding and holding up traffic to replace the dummy at lights.

But not as safe in the event of an accident...

OP posts:

Original poster

ElphabaTheGreen · 29/10/2014 11:13

They never have isofix in front seats surely?

OP posts:

mewkins · 29/10/2014 19:48

I have an 18 wk old who also hates the car and generally hates his buggy unless it's nap time. He has always been a sleepy baby so I think that when I put him in something that moves he gets all confused and thinks I am trying to get him to sleep when he's not sleepy enough..or something. I can keep him happy for the school run with a dummy but he prefers the sling. It is tedious and I want this phase over with.

MissYamabuki · 29/10/2014 20:05

Another car hating baby here (always thought all babies sleep in cars etc ). I sit at the back with him and DD but to be honest company, music, toys etc don't make any difference, it's heartbreaking!

We have had to persevere with both long and short trips and I have seen an improvement - from constant screaming to not-crying-all-the-time to (recently at 14 weeks) a 5 hr drive with only 2 short crying episodes (yay!). I know it's difficult, but keep at it and he'll get usted to the car.

HTH

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