Hi
I have a 4 year old and 2 year old, who are generally pretty good but both determined and argumentative when they want to be. My 2 year old in particular tends to scream hysterically when asked to do anything (take shoes off, get in buggy, get out of buggy, eat dinner....), and is prone to temper tantrums and general beligerence! She does on occasion bite/scratch her brother. My 4 year old, being older, is easier to reason with but has developed a delightful habit of squealing when asked to do something he doesn't feel like doing.
I'm not a huge fan of reward charts/jars of pasta etc because I think they only work to address very specific issues (potty training, sleeping...) rather than general behaviour. I'm basically trying to instill a level of reasonableness in them, respect for each other and respect for DH/me, and stop the seemingly constant negativity.
Any tips for books that might help? I already have "how to listen so kids will talk" which I keep meaning to re read but found it's more helpful for older kids.