2 year old advice. sleep, bottles and potty training.

[ARGHtoAHHH]

Hello

got ourselves in a routine that I'm dreading changing, but that needs changing. I think I know what needs doing generally speaking. But any tips or thoughts would be appreciated.

Our 2 year old has started to wee in the potty, although seems to hold it in for poo (choosing to hold it in all day and causing himself pain, before pooing on the floor). Why is he doing this? Is he not ready for training yet?

He loves his milk bottle before bed. He usually has 2 full bottles. One an hour before bed, while he chills out and prepares for bed, and another when I put him in his cot. I have to put 2 nappies on him at night, and he still wakes up soaked through to his clothes. It's started to wake him up earlier than usual. I know I need to cut down on the milk, but even if I only give him one bottle, he'll still need to wee in the night. Will this mean he'll just wet himself, or will he call me to help him use the potty? Also for his nap, should I be leaving his nappy off? I'm really confused and oddly worried about all this transition.

Not sure if I'm making sense. I'm quite tired after a 5am wake up call (he usually sleeps until 7 but was soaked)

thanks X

I think it's ok to wait a few months before trying again with the potty. In order to be potty trained he'll need to be using it for pee and poo. You can keep him using it now casually, or put it away for a few months and then try again in ernest later.

I can't advise on naps as both my kids had long given up naps by his age

With the bottles you could go cold turkey and just take them off him. But that's likely to be too mean to do. So you could cut down the amount you give him in each bottle, or instead of giving them before bed move them to a different time of day - such as around nap time.

Waking up soaked every morning and needing 2 nappies overnight will do him (and you) no favours when it comes to potty training, and will be disturbing his sleep and making work for you with washing.

Cut down the amount of milk in the first bottle and think about taking away the 2nd bottle when he's in his cot, as that milk around his teeth when he's sleeping will not be good for them.

My DC1 used to take a bottle to bed and fall asleep with it. Gradually I cut down the amount and then at 2.7 years I got so fed up with it I went cold turkey - lots of crying for a few nights and then he forget he'd ever used a bottle!

I would go cold turkey on the bottles.

Say he goes to bed at 8pm, at 7pm give him a small amount of milk in a cup with a cracker/ plain biscuit as his new bedtime milk routine. The milk in cup will be about 1/2 one bottle so 1/4 of what he's currently having. Then he will have an hour to go on the toilet again before bed.

Give him lots of water thoughout te day so his bladder adapts and grows to hold more liquid. This will help with training as well as hydrate him now he's having less milk

Thank you both. Good advice and tips.

I am going to try giving him milk in a cup tonight (1/2 of what he usually has) an hour before bedtime (6pm) with a biscuit. I actually think he might like this. It didn't occur to me to do it, although its so obvious when its spelled out in front of you.

Think he will kick up a fuss about no bottle in the cot, though. And possibly wake up in the middle of the night crying for "more milk" - this has happened in the past, when I (totally by accident!) gave him less milk before bed.

If this happens I am going to have to go cold turkey. Its not nice listening to him cry (I did do CC when he was younger, which worked very well for us but was torturous for 2 nights). And I find it harder now he is older and actually is asking for what he wants instead of just crying. I feel so mean. But I have to get over it I guess and just stick with it, otherwise he'll be in double nappies at night for ever more

So - plan for tonight. Half cup of milk with biccie at 6pm. Wee in potty before bed. No bottle in his cot (is there anything else I can substitute for his bottle? Obviously not food or drink?? Just to take the edge off!)

And I will make sure he drinks lots of water during the day.

He usually has a bottle when going down for his nap too - perhaps I should stop that too?

I would stop his bottle at nap time also. No bottles in cot will help as otherwise it's confusing when he can or can't have them

Maybe get him a new 'big boy teddy for bed'? To replace any bottle. The jelly cat ones have a variety, and really soft for bed. Not cheapest at around £10-15 depending on size but last forever . Ds1 has a bunny that is almost 5 years old and looks new still

Right - no more bottles in his cot.

I bought him a new teddy for Christmas this weekend, maybe I can get that out tonight and use that to bribe help him with the transition.

Gulp! Wish me luck!

He also has milk during the day! I forgot about that. He is constantly asking for milk! What do I do about that??

Is he teething or ill? I know my DC2 used to ask for milk a lot when she was poorly.

Is he eating enough actual solid food during the day? Do you think it's genuine hunger/thirst that's making him ask for milk, or is it just habit?

With my DC1 as I mentioned earlier I went cold turkey with the during the night milk and he was a crying mess for a few nights. With my DC2 she asked for milk as usual one night and I told her she couldn't have milk cuz there was none left in the fridge and that I'd buy some in the morning (all true!). She accepted that and never asked for during-the-night milk again!

But I agree with cutting the sleep = milk time link you're giving him. Move milk to more sociable times of day and save yourself a fortune on nappies.

He might actually be teething at the moment. But I don't think that's the reason - as he has always been like this when it comes to milk.

He doesn't have a big appetite when it comes to solid food. Maybe its because of the amount of milk he's drinking. In fact, that is probably the actual reason, isn't it. I've been burying my head in the sand!

I just really love to see him drinking his milk, as he loves it so much, and I hate the thought of taking it away from him. But something has to be done

Thanks for your reply BTW

I would still give him milk in a cup as it's fine as a regular drink, just not so much he has no appatite

You could offer a small beaker of water in the cot. Dd went through a phase of wanting a drink at bedtime after she had given up milk.

You cannot train a kid to be dry at night. They either have the hormone that represses urine production during sleep or not. I didn't realise that until a hv told me & I also read it online.

If you cut down milk at bedtime you'll at least get down to one nappy & make it more manageable for you & also him to hold his bladder when able.

However, given his total love for milk I'd take it easy & just try & cut down overall. Ditching the bottles may help, as will giving drink alongside food. I'd not push the potty training, his pooing on the floor would indicate a bit of an issue. I preferred the lazy method of waiting till my son was 3 though!

Don't stress to much, just decide where you want to be & start changing one thing at a time & move in that direction.

Thank you.

Tonight was hairy for a while but worked out okay.

I gave him a cup of milk instead of the bottle and he went barmy. Threw his new teddy in anger!! Had a right paddy. Ended up giving in and gave him a half bottle. Which he was not happy with either. So I filled it up and he drank it happily. Then no bottle in bed. He was crying for one, so I said I'd go and get it but didn't go back up. He wasn't crying as such, but lazily saying mummy mummy mummy. But I left him and he went to sleep without getting in a state, so all good.

One bottle down! So that's a start. No more bottles in bed from now on. And cut down in the day.

I'm very lazy when it comes to potty training, I haven't been getting stressed with it, when I'm not working I just whip his nappy off and he's happy to go in the potty if he feels like it! The not pooing in the potty is a bit of a concern but I'm not going to push it with him and let him go at his own pace.

Hopefully the cutting down of milk will mean he eats more solid food, which has been an ongoing issue.

Thanks for all the advice. Couldn't have done it without you!

Can I ask. What should I do if he wakes up hungry in the night? He hasn't had his full quota of milk. Should I give him a bit? I have a sinking feeling he will wake. I can't leave him hungry, but then it's probably not a good idea to let him have the milk either?

Oh and there is always a beaker of water in his cot X

As others have said, cut down the milk and increase solid food intake. If he's eating well during the day he shouldn't be hungry at night. The bottle may be habit rather than hunger. Dd often has banana and/or yoghurt an hour before bedtime.
Sorry not preaching, dd (2.5) still has a 4oz bottle at bedtime (we've reduced it from 7oz and will keep reducing it slowly) and won't sleep without a dummy, we've yet to tackle that, so know it can be tough.

Have you tried rewards? Little present in a special bag outside his door for each night he doesn't ask for the bottle?

As for potty training, let your ds take it at his own speed, try not to worry.

Just to update you lovely people.

Had a result! He didn't have a bedtime bottle, and yet slept through, 12 hours, without waking. This morning there were no nappy leaks, in fact the nappy was not very wet at all. He woke up in a great mood and didn't ask for bottle until after breakfast (unheard of) when I gave him half a bottle of watered down milk.

He's been eating solids and drinking much more water than usual today, which is brilliant. He asked for bottle before nap, I again gave him half a bottle of watered down milk.

He did a wee in the potty before nap, but we did have a poo accident in his jogging bottoms, which I threw out as it was such a mess. He did enjoy an early bath though!

Trying not to feel smug, it's only one night of success, but I'm ecstatic with it so far.

Thanks again to you all. Onwards upwards!

Excellent.

Yes it can often be a cycle of less food meaning wants more milk, which then fills up etc.

Let's see how we get on tonight!!

So far so good! He didn't have any milk at all tonight. I offered the beaker of milk but he didn't want it.

When I brought him up to his cot if said "big milk mummy" (translation: full bottle of milk) and again I said I'd go down to see if there was any left. He was asleep 15 min later, without any distress or crying. Just his usual cute babbling. Can't quite believe it.

I wonder if this is it?! Surely it can't be this easy.