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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

'Are you happy mummy?'

7 replies

IceniMist · 27/10/2014 18:28

DD 2.11 keeps asking this of me, DH and DM. Especially if she has been misbehaving or if I look sad / annoyed / slightly stressed.

Is it OK and a normal phase or is she already wanting to please? She looksmost concerned.

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LittleLionMansMummy · 27/10/2014 19:24

Ime this is about learning to empathise and distinguish between emotions. Ds went through this phase around the same age - he'd look at us intensely and then ask if we were happy. It's like it suddenly dawns on them that sometimes you can't tell so need to ask. Ds grew out of it, although sometimes asks if I'm angry when he notices I'm behaving a little brusquely.

odyssey2001 · 27/10/2014 19:38

Our LO went through a phrase of asking us to smile at him after a telling off. It went away after a few weeks and is about wanting to know that once it is done, it is done and that we aren't still cross with him.

Madallie · 27/10/2014 20:03

Wow ice, this is so strange, are you me? My dd is also 2.11 and has been asking the exact same thing for quite a while now. It worries me a bit to think she's concerned about me being happy ( although I do want her to feel sympathy/empathy) I don't want he to worry about me. I don't know if it's normal but I hope it's just a phase.

Original poster

IceniMist · 27/10/2014 20:34

Yes, it has been going on for a while and worries me for the same reasons, but is seems it is normal.

OP posts:

Asleeponasunbeam · 27/10/2014 20:37

My DS does it too. Usually when I've just been cross with his big sister. It's cute, but always makes me a bit sad that he can see through me so well. I think I often have a cross face

EyeoftheStorm · 27/10/2014 21:27

DS1 and DD1 never did this. DS2 did this a lot.

I think it's to do with empathy. DS1 and DD1 played alongside other children at nursery and didn't make close friendships until they got to school.

On the other hand, DS2 has had close connections with other children from a very young age - he likes them and they like him. Maybe he is better at noticing other children's emotions and better at dealing with them.

Even though it's a bit of a worry when they ask you because you don't want them to be responsible for your feelings, maybe they're just trying it out in a safe environment with their safe people - you!

Madallie · 27/10/2014 22:13

I like this way of thinking about it eye. I hope it is like this for my dd too.

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