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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

dd needs to be held/picked up ALL the time..help!

20 replies

hazlinh · 13/04/2004 04:26

i need help! dd is 2 mths old and since about 3 weeks old, she refuses to be put in her cot, or on the bed or anywhere for more than a few seconds (if she's not sleepy) and demands to be picked up all the time. It's got so bad that my mum is calling her the Bat Girl as she clings on everyone like a bat and refuses to be put down anywhere, and will even fall asleep on anyone's shoulder but wakes up and screams her head off if we put her in the cot!
Am losing much sleep over this increadibly tiring not to mention irritating habit..
i dont know if this has anything to do with it, but she also developed colic round abt the same time as she developed this BAT habit...is it normal?will it eventually stop???is it just a phase??how do i get her to stop being a BAT???heeeelllppp..am at the end of my tether...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

toddlerbob · 13/04/2004 05:52

Buy a sling or front pack and then get on with your day. It is a phase and it will pass. It will take much less energy to go with the flow and give her what she needs than to be irritated and obsessed with trying to stop it. It's also an excuse to do some shopping.

I spent a couple of months with my son attached limpet like and now when I seem him hooning around the lounge all "I want to do it myself" toddler it seems such a short period of time out of my life.

Take it as a compliment that she wants to be near you.

papillon · 13/04/2004 07:36

another BAT baby thread that might help u

Fennel · 13/04/2004 08:43

I agree slings can be great, I used one a lot. but I also know how tiring it can be lugging a big baby around in one all the time.

Wind-up baby swings can also be very good. They are expensive new, but maybe someone can lend you one or perhaps they are around secondhand as lots of people use them just for a month or two (the stage you are at now). or what we did (the free option if you are any good at DIY) was get two hooks and some rope and swing dd in her carseat from the ceiling - it was brilliant for soothing her.

as the others say, it is normal, it will stop. but you probably need more sleep now not in a few weeks/months...

papillon · 13/04/2004 08:49

moses basket on wheels worked well for us also

Twinkie · 13/04/2004 09:25

Oooo this was on the Baby Whisperer last night and she said that you should not go down the wearing your baby route as it just means you will have to cope with the problem later!!

I would go for the electric swing too - I would have sold my husband (actually that may have been a good idea!!) if we could not have afforded one - the best baby purchase ever!!

papillon · 13/04/2004 09:29

I think that wearing the baby down should be used with a combination of different methods for getting a baby to sleep.

toddlerbob · 13/04/2004 09:33

Why do babies find it easy to give up the swing, but not a sling - I'm confused.

Fennel · 13/04/2004 09:49

Maybe they never have to give up the swing (until you can't wedge them in any longer). dd used hers every day til 18 months.
but am not suggesting swing instead of sling. try both.

toddlerbob · 13/04/2004 10:03

I like the idea of both, it's good to have as many things as possible that work in case one day one of them stops working.
I don't like the baby whisperer's idea of not trying something that might work, free up your arms, more evenly distribute the weight than just holding over shoulder, and most importantly be massively comforting for your baby because it MIGHT cause problems later on. But maybe that's because I didn't have any problems later on.

I often had ds in a sling at the park and went on the swing myself - wonderfully relaxing for both of us.

My other suggestion is a Gina Ford one which is to put baby in cot when not looking at all tired, but fed and happy and just potter about in her room putting clothes away and stuff. She can see you, but is also getting used to her cot.

Ixel · 13/04/2004 12:40

Hazlinh,
It WILL get better. I promise. I thought I'd never have free arms again. Spent hours walking round with him, or sitting when he let me... even had to take him to the loo with me. The papoose was great.. he fell asleep instantly. I found it a bit cumbersome in the house, but at least I could windowshop or get some frsh air in the park. He started to improve at about 12 weeks, and I got a bit more time to myself. Now at 21 weeks, he's still a bit clingy, but will sit and look at toys for half an hour or so. Once he cries, I usually take off his nappy, and it keeps him happy another 15 mins lying naked!

bloss · 13/04/2004 12:55

Message withdrawn

morocco · 13/04/2004 22:12

oh I so so sympahtise - we're going throught his right now too and with colic to match although I think it's just overtiredness as he only ever cat naps allday unless strapped on to someone or my breast - I'm trying to coincide trips out anywhere in car or pram (altho pram often doesn't work) with nap times, and also using sling a lot - it's best if you are actually doing something like putting hte washing out, going on a walk etc when using sling - my ds can see through anything else like just jogging up and down to get him to sleep
and repeat endlessly - it will pass, it will pass

MADDI · 13/04/2004 22:27

God it's awful isn't it? Will stop though, in the meantime I found a baby carrier kept me sane, at least you can do SOMETHING!!!

Original poster

hazlinh · 15/04/2004 08:16

thanks for all the advice...did try putting DD in a front carrier,she was alright the first 2 times, but after that, she wanted nothing to do with it, started screaming her head off whenever we tried to put her in it.

those slings/papoose thingies look very interesting, but I not sure where to get one!

We've also tried putting her in the car seat and rocking it back and forth like how the salesgirl showed us, but she didn't like it either....doesn't stop her crying.
I even have to eat with her in my arms!

Been pestering DH to get us an electric swing, but will probably take him a while to remember to get one!

will also try to get the contented Little Baby book ...sounds EXTREMELy promising...

wish me luck!

OP posts:

papillon · 15/04/2004 08:34

lots of info about buying slings which can be bought online on this
sling thread

Gina Ford is the tough cookie end of the parenting spectrum but many people have found her advice invaluable. It is up to u as a parent. I have one of her books - you can have if you like - I could post it too you. I don´t want it myself. Email me if you want it.

smellymelly · 15/04/2004 08:57

I don't want to panic you but you say your dd started colic at around 3 weeks, and it seems to me she may be showing possible signs of 'reflux'.
Sometimes it is hard to get it diagnosed, so it might just be worth a trip to your GP. I know 3 young children who had this as babies, and classic symptoms are not wanting to be put down - ever!! It is easy to manage if diagnosed, but so uncomfortable if left.

My DD had the normal colic, although excessively windy with it, and the wind-up graco swing we had was a dream, sometimes at night too!

Original poster

hazlinh · 15/04/2004 09:09

cripes..what's reflux?how do i know if she's got it?

OP posts:

katierocket · 15/04/2004 09:12

hazlinh - I sympathise. DS was very much like this. First of all, it WILL stop. what kind of birth did you have? was it long labour? did you have forceps or ventouse? I ask this because a difficult labour and birth can make for an unsettled child.
Cranial Osteopathy can really help. we tried everything with DS (who also had horredous colic from 1 week) and this was the only thing that made a difference (god bless my friend for telling me about it as I had never heard of it).

Look here for more info cranial society

pesme · 15/04/2004 09:21

all my sympathy, my dd is just getting over this stage. I agree with all above, I used the wilkinet sling which is very comfie for both of us. Also taking the nappy off and letting her kick by herself seemed to help getting her used to lying by herself. I even put her under the baby gym with her nappy off. and finally she has a mobile over her cot that she loves, I now find her lying grinning at it even when it isn't moving. good luck it will get better

ps. she has been lying in her cot for 1/2 hour this morning having her nap which is a first.

smellymelly · 15/04/2004 09:33

Hazlinh - sorry i have panicked you, but no need...

I'm not sure what the medical explanation is, but REFLUX is like severe indigestion ( like what pregnant mums get! ) and the treatment is the same - Gaviscon ( but it is a special mix for babies, not the bottle stuff! )
It is why babies who have it prefer to be upright, or constantly held as the movement or gravity help...

Maybe worth asking your GP even if it is just to discount it, if not picked up it can have longlasting effects.

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