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DD's tic is upsetting her, I don't know how else to help, distressed mummy here!

5 replies

linspins · 24/10/2014 22:38

My dd, now just eight, has had various tics over the last few years, blinking, eye rolling, odd sniffing and breath noises, tapping hands together, mouth movements etc. We have always ignore them and mostly they haven't impacted on her life much.
Stress and anxiety reared up so much though in the last year that we went to see a neuro developmental delay therapist. He thought that dd had retained some reflexes, mainly the Moro one, which was causing her to be on high alert all the time, hence the anxiety and stress, from too much adrenalin. We've been following a programme to help with this, and generally I feel we are on the right track.
However, a recent tic is really annoying dd and I don't know what to do to help. She twitches her head sharply to one side. She says it feel like a 'crack' in her neck at the front, which then makes her head jerk to one side. It is making her head ache, and she's asking me for calpol, and asking me to help her.
We went to see an osteopath two days ago, who said he found lots of tension knots in her stomach, which he released. It sounded like voodoo, but this particular guy is very well thought of in his field and has been recommended to me many times over the years. He said it might help and to watch this space.
Dd is feeling very despondent, and asks me to hold her head still for her. She as crying about it tonight.
Is there anything I can do to relieve this? Relaxation techniques that work? Massage?
Feeling really helpless.

OP posts:
nastiesandnightmares · 25/10/2014 11:48

Bumping for you.

Patienceisapparentlyavirtue · 25/10/2014 14:58

Have you been referred to a medical specialist as well as a therapist?

As another person who tics, I'd suspect that this irritating one will pass into a new version soon, but that maybe there will be some therapy that could help her to speed up the process. I'd also think that while it sounds like your therapist is doing a great job, it never hurts to get a second opinion from a neurologist especially if her tics are causing physical pain.

Also, you may have done this already, but do you have anyone in the family who has a tic themselves and can talk your dd through it? Often it runs in families to various levels, it does in mine. Or even find some first person stories online that would help her feel less alone? I've had similar motor tics since I was about 5, and part of the distress when I was younger was due to embarrassment about it, and also a sort of shame that I was somehow 'choosing' it, because from the experience of the person ticcing, it does feel like something you are actively doing... But the compulsion is so overwhelming that avoiding it is just not realistic, and surpressing it is extremely stressful - which of course only leads to more!

As I've got older mine have died down a bit, and I've also become a bit better at channeling my tics into less visually noticeable versions, most of the time (the one upside is that even post-baby, my pelvic floor is spectacular Grin). But when you're 8 you can feel somewhere between a victim of your tics, and also an idiot who is doing this to herself. It's a horrible feeling, and it can make the whole anxiety/tic thing into a vicious circle.

Also on the anxiety bit - I absolutely understand wanting to follow every path in making sure your little girl gets the help she needs. But given that tics are neurological in origin, I'd be surprised if the stomach knots turn out to be a magic cure. It makes a lot of sense that osteopathy can work for some people as the massage (or the placebo effect of caring treatment) can reduce anxiety and help with tics. For other kids it helps because 25% of children will experience some level of ticcing that will self-resolve within a few months or under a year, so it will seem to the family that the practitioner fixed it. But I also think that it can be an expensive path for a very uncertain outcome, and could lead your dd to really get her hopes up and be very disappointed.

My personal opinion would be that there are some great complementary type treatments that might help her build her own tools to cope with anxiety and with the tics, whether they resolve soon (hopefully), or stick around a whole lot longer. Mindfulness meditation and/or yoga are brilliant ways for her to get in tune with her own body and feel more calm and control - and there are really fun versions for kids! Or a book on massage could be fun for you to try on each other and even for her to use on herself, to calm and give alternative ways of acknowledging her muscles, even the wibbly ones. You may have some much better suggestions from your therapist too!

Really hope she is feeling better soon, my heart goes out to her and to you as a mum who sounds so supportive.

linspins · 25/10/2014 16:46

Patience, thank you so much for your caring and personal reply.
We've been to the GP twice but got no more than" it'll get better by itself and don't worry" which is fine for most of the tics, but this one is actually hurting her. I might go back...
Considering the statistics for how common it is, I don't actually know anyone with a tic. But I will look online for stories of others to tell her.
We tried a lavender oil foot massage at bedtime, about a year ago, but I think we'll try it again - if only for the nice bonding time.

OP posts:
saintlyjimjams · 25/10/2014 16:54

My severely autistic son has a lot of tics - they tend to change fairly frequently. He had an awful one involving his neck which actually stopped when he badly hurt his neck (unrelated to the tic) so if it's painful it may pass faster.

His are very much related to anxiety levels. We have used complementary therapies at various times - usually with some success.

His are often worse at this time of year as well (change in season?)

Poor dd - they look exhausting for ds1 at times

NorthEasterlyGale · 25/10/2014 20:19

Have you considered hypnotherapy? I think it would help from two perspectives; dealing with the anxiety and potentially helping her substitute a less troublesome tic for this one that's hurting her. Generally, children respond well to hypnotherapy and I believe it could be a good supportive treatment for your daughter. It is important, though, to speak to a number of therapists and find one that you really feel comfortable with.

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