Throwing food

[itsonlysubterfuge]

My 2 year old DD keeps throwing her food, but mostly her dinner. I put her food in front of her and she pushes it straight off the table. She goes into time-out and then asks if she can have her food and eat her dinner. I make her another plate of dinner, she throws it straight onto the floor again, goes back into time-out and asks for food, I then explain to her that she threw her food on the floor twice and is not allowed any dinner.

She is hungry and does want to eat. Yesterday she was helping me dish it out and on the way from the kitchen to the living room (where we eat food) she was happily eating it, but the moment I started to set her down in her seat she pushed the food out of my hands.

We aren't really sure why she keeps throwing it on the floor, she is upset when she does it and most of the time she actually wants to eat the food. I've asked her why she does it and she says she doesn't know or she just does.

We are at our wits end. She isn't getting dinner and she is going to bed hungry and frustrated. I was even going to give her a third chance today with dinner, I asked her if she got some more dinner would she throw it on the floor, she said she would, so I did not get her any.

Anyone have any ideas or things to try out? Any advice is appreciated.

Two things are going on here.
Children are preprogrammed to eat their parents food. If their parents are eating it that means it's safe to eat. A child will always want to take from a carers plate it's instinctive.
She may be overwhelmed by the amount of food. Try giving her one or two mouthfuls at a time. Have a bowl that sticks to the tray and keep topping it up one mouthful at a time as she eats it.
Time out doesn't really work at her age. She can't apply consequence to action when there is a gap. Her understanding of language isn't developed enough to really understand what your saying and language only applies to the here and now. At her age you would expect her to react momentarily to 'no' then to carry on with the behaviour.
I hope that helps you make sense of it a bit.

youve made it a game. start in the morning and explain that if she throws the food, you'll put it away. everytime she throws food, accept that it's the end of the meal. No snacks two hours before a meal, you need to work up hunger. Snacks should be tiny

My DD was a food thrower when she was a bit younger, about 18-20 months. If she started to throw food, I'd take it out of arms reach and not let her feed herself. If she wouldn't eat after that, it was the end of meal time. They grow out of it, honest

I wonder if you can get her to break the cycle somehow. My ds often helps me get dinner or lunch ready, and eats bits of it as we cook. I reckon some days he's had half of his dinner before we even sit down! You've alrwdy found that she will eat when helping you dish up...maybe casually take a loooong time dishing up so that lots is eaten. Then if you take it away when she throws it at least you know she's had some. Or eat in a different place, to see what happens. Picnic on the floor? Under the table? Sandwich in the bath? Might be interesting to experiment if she can eat ok without throwing, in different circumstances than eating at the table.
Hopefully others will add more useful ideas too! Xx

I don't think she is overwhelmed with the amount of food, we don't give her loads. She does understand time out and why she is there. At the end of time out she has to apologize for her behaviour, she says "sorry for throw my food on the floor."

We thought about it being a game or her doing it for attention, that is something to keep in mind.

I could understand if she was grabbing handfuls and throwing it, but she waits for the plate/bowl to be set on the table and then pushes/throws the whole plate/bowl on to the floor. We then take her straight to time-out, so there isn't really a chance for her to throw the same food again, if that makes sense? Also, she is definitely hungry and is not allowed snacks.

It's an idea to try her with food in different places. I think she would enjoy that, she's always been a picky eater and enjoyed eating food when we were out at the store, so I might make her a lunch to eat around Tesco.

We found out last night she has another tooth coming through so I think the combination of two teeth (her second molars) coming through is making her very frustrated, which is why she is acting out. She told me today she needs something to bite and her mouth is hurting her. I think she is hungry, but is angry at her food for hurting her. At least it's what I'm hoping.

You said your self, she has to say sorry so you don't know if she's saying it because she has to or because the punishment has made her feel regret.
Timeout clearly isn't working, though. Otherwise you wouldn't be on here. I'm not a fan of them generally, though.

She's doing it in the evening because she's tired and hungry and likes to get a reaction from you. At 2 any reaction from you reassures them that you are there, with her. She doesn't care so much that it's a negative reaction, she isn't seekressing your approval at this age, just that she has you.

I agree that to break the habit you need to change the scene to. For several days, eat in different places around the house. Then when you go back, change the position that she normally sits in so it feels different.

Then when she throws, just ignore it. Don't even go to pick it up. Just act as if it didn't happen and everything is carrying on as normal. Go on eating your meal and chatting as normal. If you want to offer her more, don't make a deal out of it. You may want to give her a big snack before the meal so there isn't any pressure and it doesn't matter if she doesn't eat.