How do you manage toddler tantrums?

[MamaMed]

DD at 18 months has suddenly turned into something else. If something doesn't go her way she'll just drop herself on the floor and start crying ... Sometimes it's for absolutely no reason.

I suspect these are what they call tantrums? How do I manage them? How do you or did you manage them?

Distraction, humour, cuddles.

At 18 months they don't have the vocabulary or the reasoning skills to deal with frustration, disappointment or tiredness.

There is absolutely no point in trying to have a dialogue or explanation with a tantrumming toddler.

So you don't ignore them or leave them to it, and hope they'll get the message and stop doing that?

I'm no expert but usually find distraction works best. They get themselves into such a state that there's nothing that can be done.

I've found if ignore him and I leave him to it, he'll get more wound up, not less. Some people will disagree but I don't think at this age they are doing it for attention, they are genuinely very pissed off about some tiny thing! I generally try and be very nice and loving, and if he'll accept a hug, or at least physical contact, I offer it, especially when it's the overtired grumpy type of mood. From a toddlers point of view little things are a big deal. They get themselves into such a state that they can't see reason even if they usually can.

I might have things a bit easier than you, as mine got to 2 before he started them, and the reason for the behaviour is usually more clear. But being older he has more understanding and language.

Also, I try and put a word to what he might be feeling like "you are angry/sad etc"

DD is 2.4 and she started having tantrums like that from about 18 months too. Distraction can work really well, sometimes it can be something as simple as asking her would she likes some grapes and that's enough to get her back to normal. Or just suggest playing a new game. If it's a fairly heavy duty tantrum I break out 'The Peppa' as DD calls Peppa Pig! I have a few episodes recorded and it's enough to get her up off the floor and then she's totally calm by the time we've watched an episode or two

18 months is a bit young to ignore them I think.
If they were still doing it at 3 then yes, I would ignore - with an explanation first - but there is a huge difference between the comprehension skills of an 18 month old and a 3 year old.

The reasons for tantrums at different ages are important too.
If you handle things calmly at 18 months you are less likely to have trouble later because you can encourage coping strategies (for you and your toddler).

Actually - ignoring an 18 month old who is already distressed would be massively scary for the child.

Distraction.

LittleElf is 2 next month, she rarely has a full blown tantrum because she's easy to distract from them.

Today she had the biggest one in ages over the toothbrush. I took it off of her, put it back in the bathroom and after a quick cuddle and song she was fine.

DS is also 18mo and I handle his tantrums badly I'm sure.

If it's something really trivial I tend to sort of laugh it off then distract.
This evening he really pushed his luck and bit me a few times and I was getting wound up. So I told him off and put him in his bedroom without toys for a minute. Then went back, explained what he'd done wrong then carried on. I've no idea if that's right, but it's all I've got.