4year old scared of having her birthday party. Any advice?

[1mum1]

My 4yr old is feeling scared to have a party for her birthday. She has had a party every year so far. Yesterday she asked what will happen when my friends are together - they'll all be fighting for who can be the one to play with me :-) She really did seem anxious about it - I just said well it'll be your birthday so there's no need for you to worry, it'll all work out. I feel that that if we just have a day out instead she'd be less anxious but I don't want her to live her life by avoiding things! I wish for her sake that she was excited at the prospect like other 4 year olds.

Not having a party is hardly "living her life by avoiding things"!! Parties aren't compulsory.

No, obviously. I think she generally just sees what they'll be to worry about before what could be fun.

An outing with just one friend sounds like a good compromise - easier on you all and possibly easier on the budget too! Leave parties till she's a bit bigger.

Don't force the issue. If she doesn't want a party then don't make her. She's only 4, and she's an individual with her own preferences. A treat out somewhere nice with one friend sounds like a good way forward.

Mine have only ever had one birthday party each (their first year in school) and they are 19, 17 and 8. I would just have a day out or a tea party with family.

I was going to say don't bother with party.
It's her day after all. Do what DD likes not what you like.

Wish we had only done treats with one friend. We had parties every year, very stressful and looking back wonder why on earth we bothered! If hse is happy with one friend, fantastic, enjoy!

Do something she'll enjoy. Go to the zoo instead. It's her day after all if she doesn't want a party why should she have one? You'll be showing her you respect her choice and trust her feelings.

why force your child who is only 4 to do something that they dont want to do, is it because you want to have something to show off to talk to people about

Seems like she has problems in her friendship group?

Why not just do a tea party with a couple of her friends (who can all play together at once). You can still have candles and a cake but she will be able to enjoy it.