16 month old hitting and kicking me [sad]

[solitudehappiness]

My 16 month old has started hitting me with objects and kicking me. Today I gave her the fridge magnet to play with and she was having a great time. We were playing a game with it, and then she just hit it hard into my face, which really hurt. I told her not to do it as it hurts, but she ignored me and did it again.
And when I'm changing her nappy or clothes she kicks her legs up at me. I've told her no, but again, she just ignores me and carries on doing it.
Whats the best way of dealing with this please?
My older sister says I should smack her and nip it in the bud, which I really don't want to do

On the plus side this is normal development. It's cause and effect. I kick/hit mummy and she goes red in the face and makes a funny noise. She also doesn't understand properly emotions in other people. She understands her basic own emotions but can't apply them to others. She is also at the stage that she may respond to 'no' but only momentarily before doing the behaviour again.
Naughty corners etc don't work at her age due to lack of understanding.
I disagree with your sister. You hit me I hit you harder !!
Modelling is best at this age. Take her hand and stroke your face and say kind hands. Or use cause and effect. You hit me , I walk away from you and ignore you. Don't react to her behaviour. Say no and get up and turn your back on her for a minute. She will realise that her action doesn't get the desired result. You will need to do this over and over. Don't expect instant results. But she will learn in a loving way rather through fear. Good luck.

Don't take it personally - she doesn't realise what hurting you really means. It gets a reaction, an interesting reaction, and that's motivation to do it some more.

Be neutral in response to hurting. You can tell her that it's not ok, but don't need to make a massive deal about it. You'll teach nothing at all by smacking back - just that it's ok.

She will learn, and through you telling her that it hurts and it's not ok, you'll start to teach her that hurting others makes them sad and isn't nice or ok. She's not being 'naughty', it's a learning phase - an annoying and painful one, but something that needs to happen.

Thank you heyho111 and callamia thats really good advice. I'm going to try ignoring her for one minute next time she hits me. Yes, its annoying and painful, but gladly just a phase :)
I've been taking her hand and stroking my face and saying ahh gently babba and she smiles when I do that, love her.
I guess it takes patience, a whole heap of it lol

Watching this thread with interest! My DD is 15mo and throws the most spectacular tantrums when upset. Lots of shrieking, hitting, kicking etc. It makes me scared that when she's older she'll be a little nightmare instead of the happy smiley child I always imagine!

I know it's only normal because she's so little, and she doesn't realise she's hurting me, she's just frustrated, but I gave her LIFE, I gave up pâté and goats cheese for 9 MONTHS for her, I don't want to be hit

My 16 month old is the same. She mostly hits me in the face, then gets told 'no' firmly but does it again straight away. If she does it a second time I will say no again and put her down/ walk away. Sometimes I have to do that a few times until she gets the message. She will learn eventually

DD has tantrums too. I tend to just ignore them. Making sure she's safe and can't hurt herself. Once she's calmed down, we have lots of cuddles.
Its reassuring to hear from other posters. I was wondering if I was doing something wrong.
Seems that patience, which isn't always easy, is key here. DD has started copying me when I count to ten. Might be the fact that I sing and dance whilst doing it lol

Mine does it too. I have two that age three days a week (one mine and one a mindee) and they hit each other as well.

I hold their hand to prevent it and say "no hitting" then pat nicely and say "gentle touches".

When one of them hurts the other I completely ignore the one who has hurt (after a firm " no hitting") and pay a lot of attention to the one who is hurt, with hugs and cuddles etc.