Please tell me there is a light

[Tadpoletoatoad]

I really need some reassurance that my dd(4.5) will stop wetting herself sporadically. She's been dry since 2 and a bit but if she's ever had any behavioural problems its linked to toilet habits.
Potty training was easy and done quickly.
Then when ds was born when dd was 2.5 she did a few poos in her pants. Then when she started a new nursery at 3.5 she started wetting herself a handful of times.
Now we have stated school and its happened the most I've ever known. Not every day but at least twice a week.
The culmination is today where she went to her grans who she knows extremely well and has been to lots. She hasn't been since starting school however. Apparently she started acting odd after lunch and when I got there she was wet. (Not granny's fault she didn't notice).
I'm just at the end of my tether and don't know what to do. I feel like ripping my hair out. Please give me some ideas and reassurance its not just her.
I'm worried in case she starts getting picked on at school for doing this :(

starting school is simply exhausting for them and can stimulate all sorts of out of the ordinary behaviours which my mum assured me will pass and should be ignored but it's bloody hard as ignoring seems like the worst thing to do. For instance my 4.7 ds has started sniff sniff sniff pause gulp pause clear throat pause sniff sniff sniff and so on ALL DAY. It is driving us bananas and I can't ignore but then feel bad for highlighting it and possibly making him nervous/anxious about it.

With regards to your dd it would be good to learn what she is doing when it happens and is it similar times of day. I'm just wondering if you can identify a pattern you can put in place interventions.

I'm the meantime you might just have to resort encouraging her to go to the loo every hour and asking school if they can do the same.

I feel your pain and remember the mantra 'everything is a phase'.

It will get better.

It might be worth chatting with a Doctor who can refer you to a paediatrician who can have suggestions and a plan.

You might be advised to do a reminder thing where she goes to the loo after a certain amount of time, reminding her to go. Or they might test to see how her bladder is (weeing and measuring force of wee from bladder which involves weeing into a special loo so doesn't hurt).

I would go sooner rather than later when it's becoming an issue and your patience is stretched to its limits. ERIC www.eric.org.uk can help too if only to reassure you that you are not alone.

Thanks both for replying. We have looked at reasons why with the school and they are taking her. Unfortunately she only seems to want to go with one teacher in particular and this leads to problem when that teacher isn't available.
I know its just a phase but that's hard to cling onto sometimes :(
I was wondering about the doctor but thought it was a but trivial for them?

No it's not trivial and I would ask to see a specialist, they see similar all the time.

I think it's one of those things that is easier to deal with in the earlier stages rather than when it becomes a habit or gets worse ( not meaning to scare you though).