6 year old with toilet problems

[ashley89lloyd]

Hello everyone

I have just signed up to mumsnet (even though I am not a mum or dad) because I really need some advice for my partners son and struggling understand his behaviour.

To sum it up he is a 6 year old boy and he is still having toilet issues. He wears a nappy to bed as he does sometimes wet the bed which can be normal at his age. Although what isn't normal is, he has poo'd himself twice this week alone at school.

I have spoken to my partner about it and it isn't an unusual thing for her son. When he is tickled sometimes he will wee himself but over the past couple of months he has also been poo'ing himself on regular occasions. He has done it at school, with his dad and when out. He never poo's himself when he is at home with me and his mum but she does make him go to the toilet regularly when it looks like he needs it. His nanny also enforces this and makes him go to the toilet when she has him for the day but other than that, the toilet issue's happen everywhere else.

I am really unsure what to do about this and was wondering if anyone else has any experience with something similar or may know more?

He has been to the doctor's about it who put him on a high fibre diet, his mum has sat him down and explained why he can't keep doing it, the issues and effects of it. He even know's himself it can hurt when he does poo himself and doesn't do anything about it yet it still continues.

I would appreciate any help or advice with this, it really is upsetting my partner and he is starting to get bullied at school which can make it worse.

Thank you all

Are there any triggers? For instance when he's upset, tired or busy playing?

Could you make sure he goes to the loo after breakfast and before bed with a book?

I think you named the little boy in your post - you might want to ask for it to be removed.

He could have encopresis due to being constipated. That would explain the wee accidents as well. I would go back to the GP.

Opps, sorry I just noticed I named him, how can I remove this or who do I ask?

Every morning before school his mother makes sure he brushes his teeth and goes to the toilet. There doesn't seem to be any triggers as to why it is happening. The only thing is he bounces around a bit when he is holding it in and she instantly tells him to go to the toilet.

This has been going on for a while now, before she even split with his father so it isn't anything to do with that either. I have tried looking into it and asking her for all she knows but there doesn't seem to be a reason as to why he keeps doing it? It's completely baffled me as I have no experience with other peoples children, this is the first relationship I have had where my partner has a child and it really upsets me seeing how distressed it makes her.

If you report your original message, MNHQ might be able to edit the name out for you.

I think he needs to see the GP. Think you all need to know that there is no physical or emotional reason for this. Personally I don't think its acceptable for the GP just to say "put him on a high fibre diet".

Personally I don't think its acceptable for the GP just to say "put him on a high fibre diet".

Totally agree. High fibre diets (such as bran flakes) can do more harm than good at any rate. Unless you drink tons, fibre can be very constipating.

I have reported the post, thank you and also just checked with my partner and that is literally all the GP said, put him on a high fibre diet and that it is "normal" for a child to poo himself. It was only about 6 months ago if that he last saw the GP and they recommended this.

I also forgot to mention they child has no physical or mental disabilities, he may be tested for ADHD in the future but this would not be a reason for this behaviour. It is really hard to understand why he keeps doing this, it's also very frustrating as it will make school difficult for him.

My partner says she has tried everything to resolve this but it still happens regularly.

My DS had this, he has ADHD tendencies ( inattentive and very active but not quite enough to be diagnosed ). We saw consultant and she suggested Flaxseed daily which is a nice non medical way of easing constipation. Other people may suggest Movicol. I would see another GP.

thanks for all the advice, he certainly does have ADHD tendencies as well but as for constipation, he hasn't been for a long time apparently and if so it wouldn't explain why this has been going on for so long?

It is almost like he doesn't achnowldge the importance of going to the toilet or something like that. He goes regularly in a morning on his own but it seems to be at school or he is too engaged in something to care if he needs the loo.

As an example we could all be downstairs watching a film he wants to see and he will bounce around on the sofa holding himself because he needs the toilet. We have to tell him to go to the loo and pause the film otherwise he will constantly hold it. It's very strange, something I haven't seen before in a child.

I have suggested a child psychologist as it may be a mental block but surely at the age of 6 he should know the importance of going to the toilet?