2.5 yo doesn't want to go out (though enjoys it when we do)

[HazyShadeOfWinter]

Currently having a near-daily struggle with 2.5yo DS to try and get him to get dressed and leave the house. Getting dressed we can just about manage if we have an incentive like he can watch an Octonauts once dressed or play with a favourite toy. But then I'll say 'let's go to xx park' xxx playgroup and he'll get moody,doesn't want to go, always takes an age to get him in shoes coat/buggy etc. this morning I ended up shouting at him; having to go to next room to calm down and then giving up in a sulk which is hardly great parenting.

I'll usually try giving him a choice of local parks or relevant playgroups but he just wants to stay in. I think it's the hassle of getting coats etc that he doesn't want, plus he does go to nursery/my mums three days a week so I think the other days he wants to be at home. Fair enough but it's a lovely day, we;ve been inside playing duplo/watching octonauts since 6am and I want to get him outside for fresh air and exercise. And yes, I'm bored!

Once I actually get him out he invariably enjoys it and refuses to come home when we need to. Which I accept as a toddler's prerogative.

We also have a new baby, so it could be a reaction to that, and it also makes me more stressed cos just when I have ds nearly ready the baby will want a feed or something. And I want to get baby out in the fresh air too because I (probably stupidly) think that will help him sort out day from night.

Sorry for long post, any advice on encouraging DS to go out and/or how to keep my calm welcome!

I so recognise that need to get out!
Can you stay in until after lunch? Have it as your plan that you'll go to the park or playground then?

In the end he decided to go out after I told him we couldn't watch Fireman Sam because we hadn't been outside.Now we're back and watching Sam with a picnic lunch in the living room, So bribing him with TV - completely not the sort of parent I wanted to be...

This afternoon I will attempt the 'just tell him we're doing xyz' route - rather than choices which he can ignore.

DDs a bit like this. She hates getting dressed, being dressed full stop actually, hates the pram, hates sitting down anywhere at all ever etc. Going outside invariably involves some or all of those things so she often says she wants to stay at home. I suppose there's more freedom at home. Like yours, she enjoys the park or playgroup once we're there so I use a fair amount of bribery to get us out the door. Last Friday, she brought to my knees and we didn't end up going out all day. I only wanted to go out to take her to bloody playgroup. She just wouldn't stay dressed and I was getting angry so I left it. I assume like everything else it's a stage and it too shall pass. I made the near fatal mistake of taking her to a shopping centre today. Never again!

Just realised I offered no advice just commiseration!

My DS is 3 and has been like this for ages. I try to bribe him to get to the bus stop. Often I've discovered it's because we leave around snack time so once we get to the bus stop he can have a banana or whatever. Helps slightly.

Can you do anything to speed up getting out of the house. So do all the bits and pieces you need to get yourself ready, put your coat and shoes on, have his ready by the door. Then say "we're going out to the park at the end of octonauts, or when I've counted to three, or whenever". Give him a couple of minutes to finish up and then pounce and get his shoes on asap. If need be leave the coat off and the pop it on him at the bottom of your path once

He is reconciled to being out. (Sorry fat fingers on small screen)

This afternoon I will attempt the 'just tell him we're doing xyz' route - rather than choices which he can ignore.
I think that's perfect it's just the age of defiance and he's learning whether you will have a reaction to he's fussing or not. My ds is almost 2 and half he had a go at this too, it didn't last long but every now and again he tries to make everything a piss around again just to test me out I think.

Kids this age just don't have the foresight to realise that while doing one thing (slobbing about at home) is brilliant, going somewhere else might be even better.

If using telly as a bribe works, use it! So give yourself plenty of time to get him ready then say "you can watch one episode of fireman Sam" or one song from Aristocats or whatever. That then gives you 10 minutes before you go out to get your baby ready or whatever.

Or yeah, say no telly til we've done our outside thing/been to swimming etc.

They don't learn by being told, annoyingly. They learn through experience so just keep plugging and pushing through. Keep the choices to a minimum, too: "do you want to go to the park with the train or the park with the climbing frame", "do you want to go to playgroup or soft play?"

This is so reassuring to read. (but not fun for us, obviously!)
DS is 2.5 and today was a typical day.

Didn't want to get dressed or go out, so 2 hours of bribing, begging etc to get him out the door.

Didn't want to get in rucksack, but keeps running off (have a little backpack with clip on reins but if I put on the reins he sits down!)

Didn't want to go shopping, so tries to run out of every shop.

Goes to park, doesn't want to leave.

Didn't want to get on the bus, then doesn't want to get off the bleedin' bus.

Doesn't want to go home.

Gets home, doesn't want to remove any clothes, even coat.

Aaaarrggghhh let it be soon
and to everyone

This all sounds so familiar!!
DD is just 3 and is starting to get better at leaving the house but we have certainly had a lot of this stalling/fighting/tantrums while I've been desperately trying to get us out of the house.
I've been on maternity leave with DS since January and have needed to get out for my own sanity (particularly early on). I've found the following things helpful, but ultimately, I think she's just starting to grow out of it a bit.

• a 5 minute sand timer ("when the sand runs out, we're going to put our shoes on" or "if you can get your coat and shoes on before the sand runs out then you can have a snack to eat in the pushchair")
• "planned reward" (apparently OK as not bribery ) eg "when you're in the car seat, you can have a chocolate button" (though the use of food is frowned on according to the parenting course I did) or I have staggered a favourite book through our getting ready (i.e. page of book after each stage of getting dressed)
• counting to 5 then consequences, eg "I'm going to count to 5 and if you're not in the pushchair by then, there will be no tv today". I try really hard not to use "I'm going without you" because I wouldn't actually do it and it does induce panic at the idea of being left alone.
• once we'd tried all the available toddler groups, I did limit our outings to those that she found particularly interesting. I think it took me until the summer (when there weren't many groups on) to realise that she really is happier just playing at home with mummy. (Obviously mummy needs some adult conversation too though!) Sometimes we just take her bike out for a bit, which she loves.
• inviting friends to come to our house avoids the whole issue!! Maybe some of those ideas are helpful but I think really it's just a phase that they (hopefully) grow out of before we throttle them

So glad it's not just us...though sorry of course for all you suffering parents...

Thanks for suggestions, have had a sand timer in my Amazon shopping basket for a while wondering whether to get it, so will try that. We do a lot of counting too, and attempts to make things into games (do you want to fly out of the bath pr shall Captain Barnacle tow you out?) though actually I haven't tried making going out a game, maybe we'll give that a go too.