dd (6) seems to have suddenly become really rude and defiant

[queenceleste]

I feel caught off guard and it is hard to revert to rewarding the good and ignoring the bad when there isn't much of the former.

It's really about getting ready to leave at any time, she used to be independent, self dressing and fairly amenable.

Now she is obstinate, defiant and feet dragging. It's such a pain. She always wants to finish whatever she's doing.

It feels like I've suddenly lost control of her sometimes, I am ashamed to say. But I want to bring it back. Most consequences don't have much power, missing telly doesn't bother her that much and getting her to have time out is such a shouting match that I rarely have the emotional energy for it. I prefer to reward the good behaviour but there just isn't that much of it!

Advice from anyone who has succeeded here would be much appreciated.

My 6 yo is similar. I put it down to being tired and adjusting to a new school year. She's also getting to an age where she wants to make her own decisions and not be bossed about like a toddler.

Give her 15, 10 and 5 minute warnings, involve her in the plans for the day and if it's somewhere she wants to go don't be afraid of cancelling the outing if she drags her feet.

Thanks Ipaddy, yes she certainly wants to rule her own destiny!
I will try a more consultative approach and I haven't yet made her miss one of her activities owing to feet dragging but that might have a powerful effect!