New siblings - best reassurance tips? 4 yr gap

[Gen35]

My dd is just turning 4 and we have a new baby dd. my dd1 is being fantastic with her sister but I can see she's feeling insecure - what did you do/say to reassure your first dc? We aren't getting out the house much obviously, first few days.

Congratulations on your DCs

I have a slightly larger age gap between DS and DD. I made sure DD was very involved, she 'brushed' DS's hair, choose which babygro he would wear etc. DS was ebf, so I would have an arm free to cuddle her and read a story, chat, have snuggles etc. DS used to sit in his bouncing cradle and watch DD as she trotted backwards and forwards, chatting away.

My DCs are both adults now, are are really good friends as well as siblings.

p.s. I would also make sure that visitors don"t just cluck over your new baby, but also take time to greet, cuddle and chat to DD.

Thanks Chottie, she does love being involved and runs around saying I'm mummy's helper

4.3 year age gap here and DD2 is now 13 wks so recent experience! I have found myself taking relatively little notice of Dd2 when DD1 is around (not too hard as she is at school most of the day) so DD1 feels she gets the lion's share of my attention. Obviously there are times when I have to be busy with DD2 but I try and do what is needed quickly and then focus on DD1 again. I also took DD1 out on her own for a few hours at the weekend and could tell she really enjoyed having me entirely to herself, so will try to do that every so often from now on.

Definitely make sure visitors talk to dd first, and tell them in advance that doesn't mean "ask dd if she likes having a baby"! Tell them to ask about her favourite dinosaur/thing at nursery/tv show and not mention the baby.

Also emphasising all the fun things you do with dd like eat ice cream and cake and listen to stories, and poor baby can't do any of that yet.

following along as have a 4yo ds & am expecting a dd in 7 weeks time & also want to make sure he doesn't feel left out.

Plenty of good tips so far - keep 'em coming folks!

Thanks - I'm going to try and take dd1 swimming when I'm recovered from the birth!

How are u all finding the newborn days after having a relatively self sufficient DC for so many years?

Tbh, I felt that the world continued to revolve around DS1 whilst DS2 was tiny (later on was/is a different story). But a few things I guess I did:

• played games with DS1 whilst bfing
• let Ds1 'play' with Ds2, ie not too precious about him
• carry on with preschool drop offs (DH or I) rather than asking friends to do it, which was v tempting
• let DS1 watch a DVD and have a snack whilst I put DS2 to bed so that we could always have a story/cuddle at bedtime with no disturbances (hopefully), plus he enjoyed the big boy time on his own downstairs

Good luck, your DD1 will be fine. Please don't hurry to go swimming with a newborn - far more hassle than it is worth, there are loads of other fun stuff you can do!

I have the same gap as you and ds is now 4 months old. Dd has started reception so at school most of the time which helps. But she generally hasn't shown much jealousy. We have tried to take her out a lot though and tend to leave the baby at homewith one of us. IIt's easier and she still gets plenty of attention. I also bathe them together and her job is to wash the baby's hair. It helps if she feels involved and grown up I find.