What do you do if you suspect your child has mild aspergers syndrome?

[LittleOldMe22]

My son is 3.5 yrs. As a baby he was a very difficult child to get to smile etc but was vfery happy at home in his own routine. As he has grown up he is often dismissed as being very shy and everyone comments on how stern he looks in social situations. He dislikes strangers talking to him, dislikes big social gatherings etc. He is very bright boy and remembers the littlest details from events going back so far as his 2nd birthday, His vocabulary he extremely developed and he can remember and explain lots of more complex things, i.e. why it rains etc. He likes to watch the same film or show again and again until he can quote it then will move on to another film and not want to watch the first ever again Same with stories, he likes the same story night after night and then will suddenly change. He also becomes obsessed with certain toys/things - Dinosaurs has been the only toy he'll really play with now about a year. When with other children his age he struggles to interact unless he knows them really well. All in all he is a really happy little boy in a stable home and environment but when he does experience change it sends him sky rocketing into hyper activity, screaming and tantrum like behaviours. He thrives in structure, boundaries and clear instructions. With close family he is extremely affectionate, chatty and loving but this is almost exclusive to our family unit and my parents, and his child-minder.

If he is indeed on the autistic spectrum (and I say that with a big IF as currently this is just a gut feeling) I would think it is relatively mildly but wondered should I do anything about it. My concern comes from him starting school next year and them not responding appropriately to him and him being branded difficult (which I've experienced in other settings when he has suddenly been expected to change or adapt with out preparation)? I'm just exploring this feeling at the moment... would welcome others views/ experiences?

OP my DS is 12 and he was very like your little boy at that age.
He appeared quite different to the other children and he would sometimes comment that he wasn't like other kids.

My DS is currently under going the diagnosis process for aspergers & the health professionals we are dealing with have said that he certainly looks to be high functioning aspergers. The process has taken a couple of years as he really is not a priority case for them. The only reason we have pushed for the diagnosis is in case we need support as he gets older.

He is a very happy boy (and much more openly smiley than he was aged 3 or 4, when he appeared to be extremely solemn, especially to people he didn't know!) and copes well with school. He is in an independent school, however, as he copes much better in small classes. Most people have no idea that he is on the ASD spectrum, but just think he is very bright, quirky & a little bit rude, due to little eye contact & sometimes ignoring people.

He copes very well in most situations, but occasionally has melt downs at times of stress. These can be when he is unsure of surroundings; crowded & noisy places; changes in routine at school etc. He is old enough to understand that he has aspergers & what that means. We have also encouraged him to have tactics to use when he is stressed. For example, at school, he has a quiet place & several teaches to go to; he carries earplugs for cinema trips or noisy outdoor events; knows to go to a quiet place for 5 minutes if he's feeling overwhelmed at parties etc.

He's an amazing boy and I couldn't imagine him any other way & certainly wouldn't change him, but he does need a bit more help just to fit into normal life than other children.

Thanks all, I do get irritated by some comments from others about his moods, etc especially from family as I just think if you took the time to get to really know him you would see what an amazing little guy he is. He is kind, thoughtful, considerate and dedicated. He'll sit down for hours with his little brother telling him the most amazing elaborate stories and acting them out with his dinosaurs, he nuzzle up to me and DH and just say 'I love you so much', etc, he may not be a natural crowd pleaser but that doesn't mean he is any less outstanding. Just saddens me how much positive attention his little brother gets in comparison because he knows how to charm - and don't get me wrong he is just as amazing but in a totally different way - he is chubby, with huge blue eyes, a massive smile, golden ringlets and happy to chat away to anyone - its difficult then explaining to DS1 why everyone fauns over ds2 and not him!

My DS2 was very similar as a small child but actually coped quite well with part time nursery (although he did not like singing as a group). I didn't suspect anything until he started primary one, on the very first day he hid under a table and actually hit the teacher when she tried to get him to come out!

I hummed and hawed about DX and he was eventually diagnosed with AS aged 11. He is more noticeably different from his peer now at 13 as they have become more socially sophisticated and he hasn't but he copes quite well with high school.