How important are play-dates?

[Minki]

DS1 is 6.5 and in year 2. He has always been quite a challenging child, quite emotional, and sometimes struggles socially. The teachers and I have kept an eye on it and he seems to be improving all the time. He has a couple of close friends in class but doesn't get invited to many play-dates. We have invited one of two friends over and he has lots of social interaction at the weekend but mainly with the children of my friends who he has known since he was a baby. Even if he is in a group, DSI will interact for a bit but then typically goes off to do his own thing. I ask DS1 is who he wants to come over for play-dates and he isn't really bothered so I don't push it too but should I be doing more on this front? Some of his friends seem to have play dates all the time but mostly because the mums are at home and seem more motivated to do this than I am (I work full time). I also think that DS1 is with is mates all day, plus he has clubs 2 days after school and on the other day has to go to a club with this brother, so really want him to have some quiet/downtime on the other days. Am I wrong on this though and should I be doing more to get him so socialise/build friendships? As I said, he is quite a complex little boy - very loving and sociable on one way but can be quite aloof/almost arrogant in his choices about what he want to do and who he wants to play with.

They're not that important. At least I don't think so. I have a 10 year old DD and a 6 year old DD in year 2. My older DD struggled a bit socially so I went all out and did quite a few playdates in reception and year 1 and then I thought "God this is killing me!"

I hated it! So many small children are difficult...not many are easy to look after for a whole afternoon or even a few hours...I have really reduced ours....in fact both my DDs had the grand total of ONE each during the summer holidays.

Questioning their friends parents it seems this is normal...especially in working familes...with both parents at work anyway.

Even stay at home parents are not that bothered!

I think it sounds like you know your DS and you shouldn't worry about it too much.x Both my DDs are fine socially...my older DD who struggled is in year 6 and is actually a popular kid all of a sudden.

thanks Claphands. That was my instinct too but I recalled that his teacher in Reception really encouraged them, so wanted to check I'm not entirely off the mark. x

I've never done them. They get old enough to play out and they knock on their mates.

As it should be.

From the sheer amount of kids who knock for my teenager it doesn't look like he's suffered much.

DS is in Y2 and has done a (very small) handful. I find them very stressful, so don't do them - we sometimes look after one girl in his class but she's my friend's daughter which makes it a million times easier. He's not suffering.

My DD is in year 1 and I rarely do play dates. She has two younger siblings and is happy enough. I agree with gamer chick that they develop their own friendships and when they're old enough to pursue them they will.