NEED HELP ! BABY DISTROUGHT WHEN MUM LEAVES HER

[mammabelleboo]

Sorry - sure this must have been done to death, but my 11 mo dd has just in the last few weeks, begun to be TOTALLY DISTROUGHT when I leave her. This can be for anything as short as 2 mins when I nip to the loo to 15 mins when left with Nan while I pop to the shop. This happened today when I left her with my mum to pop out for some tea bags - I was gone 10 mins & when I got back she was bawling as though someone had just finished pulling out her toe nails or something! Mum said she'd been like that from about 10 seconds after I'd left. Happened yesterday as well at my MIL's when I just popped into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Am panicking now - have a funeral to go to on Monday & have no choice by to leave her with my MIL. Am surprised that she's like this with her Nans - she is used to being left with them & things have always been fine in the past - they are like her 2nd mums! How can I cope with this distressing phase? Is it my fault? Have I given her too much attention in the past, I wonder - can you give a baby too much attention? Don't tend to leave her alone much - & she's never been very good at entertaining herself! Help!!

separation anxiety. perfectly normal and it WILL pass.

i remember someone saying to me for the first 3 years they are still part of you - you are their whole world so i don't think you can ever give a baby or a child too much attention.

thanks for your reassuring contributions! Guess it's just another baby phase to ride out! Left her for a bit with MIL yesterday & she wasn't too bad - maybe she has days when she feels more clingy than others.

perfectly normal my dd exactly the same
re the taking dd to the loo when you go... It sure helped my dd toilet train early
Nothing is sacred once you ahve kids
Now dd is 3 and is the first child at nursery to wave goodbye and gallop off..
It will pass, all too soon they want you out of the way

Normal. Tedious but normal.

Very true, aviatrix - my ds' separation anxiety has got a lot better in the last month or so (he is 15 months). Wasn't going to mention that to a mum of an 11 month old though

mammabelleboo, your post could have been written by me. same age dd, same problem. extra stress as i have to go back to work in a couple of weeks and she'll be at childminders. cm looks great but in my heart of hearts i know dd is going to break her heart and there is nothing i can do about it. i feel just awful but she's hardwired to panic when i am not there. i am trying not to think about it but feel sick when i do... so sorry not to have solution but you're not alone in your worry and your daughters upset!

thanks aviatrix. i haven't ruled out asking for unpaid leave if things go poorly - could be tricky but i need a plan b! what i don't know is how much, if any, damage the distress that she will feel will do her. ie should i ride it out or should i try to find a way to avoid it? can't find any research on this so will play it by ear!

thanks for info - bit wary of biddolph after looking at his website and being shocked at the vitriol women on there were expressing towardes working mothers. i have read what penolope leach has to say on the matter though, and am taking the 'as late as possible for as few days as possible' approach to childcare and going for a cm rather than a nursery... but will have to see how she settles. fingers crossed!