How much screaming is normal for toddlers ?

[Babieseverywhere]

Just feeling a little down, so please be kind.

DD3 is 27 months old adorable gives lovely kisses and loves dancing around living room to Frozen and Pepper Pig.

She only has a few words maybe six or so and therefore screams a lot.

She has passed a hearing test and will be seeing a paed soon regarding speech, so no worries on that direction as such. I am sure she will catch up.

I took DD3 food shopping this morning. I had so many comments, looks and tuts from both staff and customers... One staff mentioned that me being partially deaf (I wear an aid) must be a blessing Another customer said I should control her properly (helpful)... I drove home in tears.

How much screaming is normal? I had to leave school's charity coffee morning last week, due to her screaming.

A family christening is coming up but I checked with the church in question, there is no sound proof children's chapel...so I can't go to that either.

I am looking at getting a new car seat for her, as getting her in one is very difficult and she gets out, even with additional harness in place.

She is the youngest of four. My second child was similarly hard work but no screaming.

Sigh, I just want to be able to go somewhere, anywhere without being judged

ps. I am very over sensitive about parenting issues, as 6yo DS is on the ASD pathway but is not likely to be dx as he is mild and as school say he is fine there.

bump

It could be a phase like the terrible twos / threes / fours. My DD1 did a daily scream at random for at least an hour, when she was 3. It was utterly baffling. I couldn't find anything as an obvious trigger. But the best thing I could do was ignore it and get on with something else. Hard I know, if you're in the supermarket!

My son is nearly 2 and he doesn't scream much butbif his voice starts to get higher I whisper, he tends to copy me, he's still defiant and often whispers "noooooo!" But at least it's quiet!

Our problem is that he is a climber and climbs out of the trolley, so that is what people tut at us about but oh well, I try to just ignore the tutting.

She started screaming around 18 months old....how long can a phrase last ?

It can last long time. My DD1 did this scream business for about a year.

I do think if you're out in public you can say "quiet now, no screaming or we go straight home, no play / goodies / whathaveyous" but its hard to know at 2 if they can really grasp that one.

Sorry not to be more helpful on this. It can't last forever...

Actually that has given me hope that the end will be within sight. :)

I too have a screamer who is now nearly 3 1/2 (sorry). Although she does still scream she has got better but at one point she was really beginning to take over our lives.
Our screamer is also the youngest of 4 and I have never experienced this with her brothers.

I couldn't go shopping because she'd scream as soon as we entered a shop and would continue. If we went out for the day she'd do it, if we went to see friends she'd start.

At home she can still be awful but I'm now finding that although she will still do it, we've had a bit of a break through.
We've tried talking and reasoning with her, putting her in another room and shutting the door and as an absolute last resort I gave smacked her.
I can honestly say that nothing worked and we couldn't distract her either.

What I think is happening now is she's beginning to understand what I'm actually saying, (her speech isn't fantastic but she's getting there). We can sometimes reason with her (not always but it's a start.)

I ended up putting her in pre school for 2 mornings a week and now she does 4. She absolutely loves it and has never ever screamed whilst there???? So I know she does have control and I'm hoping it's beginning to break the habit.
I try to make sure she gets lots of sleep and that she eats regularly (very fussy and I do think hunger plays a part). Also as much as I could throttle her sometimes, I try to stay really calm. Sometimes I completely lose it!!

You really have my sympathy but it will get better. X

Try your best to ignore any unhelpful judgemental people If you can, they're not in your shoes are they? There is nothing quite like the embarrassment when your precious offspring kicks off in public (I'm just starting to experience this) and it makes you doubt yourself so much it makes you feel judged even when most people nearby are not remotely bothered. Your daughter sounds like a spirited and loving girl which is no bad thing at all!

The comments are starting to grate but I know she will outgrow screaming as her speech improves.

Plus I got a different car seat and it is golfing her secure...still screaming but secure, so that helps

keeping not golfing !

This may be completely unhelpful, but have you tried doing signing with her? My DD enjoys watching Mr Tumble and started doing the signs, so i bought a couple of books and taught her basics like milk, eat, snack, book etc. I then really encouraged her to use them to ask for things, she was able to then ask for things and if she started getting frustrated I would try to show her some signs and see if she could indicate what she wanted.

Actually that is a great suggestion. I do basic signs with my kids (milk, drink, food, sleep, home, baby, toilet/nappy change, sorry, please, thankyou)

DD3 understands the signs but only signs please and thankyou. She doesn't have much desire to communicate yet, she rarely uses the words she does have except mummy, daddy, mummy, daddy. But I will record something special and see if she responds to it.

Hi just wanted to add that I know it's hard but ignore those people who seem to think it's their place to comment and be rude. These comments make the situation feel worse than it is.
Every parent has gone into a super market and had their child have a tantrum or something along them lines at some time.
Can you take her something to do while in trolley,something to eat or a book or toy to play with. My 18 month old will sit looking at a magazine just turning the pages and looking at all the pics !!
But she is also the child that will not sit for long and will try to climb out and then if I don't let her she will scream and scream and yes people are all looking and feel the need for their comments like she is the child from hell. But us mums won't win anyway because my dd was an angel the other day in supermarket so on the way out I gave her a doughnut and some women turned around and said to me "how disgusting". The thing is dd picked at it a little bit and then didn't want it.
So try not to worry your not alone and just think to yourself when these people make comments that their behaviour is a lot worse than your dd could ever be as they are adults.
Let us know how it's all going