Training 5 yr old to go loo in night, and other factors

[jollygreenmama]

Hello
DD goes to bed in a pull up and usually wakes around 10pm because she's had a wee in the pull up, we whip it off and then settle her back. She then more often than not wakes around 3 for another little wee, this time on the loo, and we settle her back. Previously we haven't restricted water at the end of the day because she can get a bit constipated if dehydrated.

We think we need a new approach so tonight we are restricting drinks after 5 and we're going to lift her at 10, we're removing the pull up too.

The aim is to get her to go to the loo and go back to bed confidently.

The other factors are during the summer we have done a lot of bed hopping and co sleeping and she's struggled to sleep through in her bed as she's used to hearing us and having company. She is now remaining in her bed but needs us to lie with her until she drops off again. She also still has a dummy and although it falls from her mouth as soon as she's asleep she looks for it if she wakes and can't seem to drop off without it. She only has it at night time and can fall asleep without it in the car for instance.

So we're a bit stuck in an old routine and think that she is old enough to try something new.

She's doing great at school and has nothing troubling her.

Thanks in advance for your advice and comments!

a friend of mine took her 9 year old son to an eneuresis clinic this week as he is still wet at night.I realise this is a very different situation but will just share some of what she was told.

1. to encourage as much liquid as possible during day up until tea time (5ish) as it stretches the bladder and strengthens bladder muscles.
2. to encourage regular daytime toiletting and to double-void (ie after a wee,wait 10 seconds and then try again) This encourages a proper emptying without residual urine left in bladder
3. they were very against 'lifting' as this does not help in the long term. Once kids are able to be dry at night they would usually sleep right through.
4. avoid sugar and other stimulants in evening but also there was other dietary advice that I can't remember so may be worth some research. The reduced sugar drinks with sweeteners supposedly mess with the chemical that prevents nighttime weeing so avoid those too(aspartane particularly I think) Can't advise re dummies as never used them for my 3. Good luck.

thanks vdbfamily.

she could def do with sitting a little longer on the loo.

i'm confused about lifting, so many differing views!! maybe i'll stick to current pull up option….?

The third option is that you don't lift and don't pull up either. We use a bed pad to minimise washing/damage to the mattress. We used to lift but after this summer I just clearly explained at bed time that we would no longer get him up and he could get himself up and go. If he needed help he could shout but also that as soon as he got up in the morning he must go for a wee. We didn't have any accidents at all until after he started school and was knackered and even then it was only once. I have friends who lifted for a year plus and now the kids still can't do through the night so I think it's not a good long term solution

Agree with additional fluids during the day, just water with dinner, and then none after.
No lifting - tho if DS2 wakes up and shouts for us, we take him to the toilet (he's 3)
Make the trip to the bathroom dimly lit, so they can see without needing to find light switches
double void at bedtime - so upstairs, bedtime routine, story etc, and then back on the toilet before a kiss goodnight.
At 5 it isn't that unusual to still be in pull-ups.
After the boys asked, we removed nappies on a week that 101 loads of washing was possible - and it could be dried ie a week we were off work, in the summer (no tumble drier here), and had another full set of bedding (inc duvet middle) waiting for 3am bed changing. It only took a few wet beds after he'd decided he wanted to do it (with no dry morning nappies before hand)

My ds will be 6 soon and he is getting much better at staying dry through the night. I definitely have to limit drinks in the evening and he goes to the toilet twice just before bed time. And he does a pee both times.

I think fizzy drinks can cause ds to be wet at night. Drinking too much definitely does and anxiety is a big factor too.

Ds is co sleeping with me. He would be too anxious sleeping alone. I just need to keep it this way for now.

I can't remember when ds gave up his dummy but I do remember it was something we chatted about for a while and he agreed to. He has chewy toys and chewy jewellery for when he needs something in his mouth. But these are for day time, not bed time.

I kept him in pull ups at night until he was dry through the night most of the time. I thought it would increase his anxiety if he was always waking in a wet bed. But I didn't get any professional advice so not really sure what is recommended.

Thank you all, I've restricted drinks and got her to wee again before bed, she waited for a count of ten & tried agin but no joy. I'm gonna attempt to lift before I go to bed if she hasn't called for me by then but I don't think she'll wake easily...
Am ready with bed mat & bedding for later . She doesn't have fizzy or sweet drinks.

We used pull-ups for ds3 until he became dry by himself around his 7th birthday. He's 8 now and has never had an accident.

Eva50 and all, need reminding why I'm doing as we had a disturbed night last night with two wet beds. I think the point is to get DD to understand the sensation prior to needing the loo in her sleep so she can eventually get up & go by herself to the loo. Your comment Eva50 is making me rethink....! Time for a cuppa me thinks!

Ps I didn't lift I waited till she called me.... Lots of peeps advised advised against it

It sounds like she's not ready yet, Jolly.
I'd honestly put her back in a pullup, and save the midnight bed stripping.
Being dry at night is a hormonal thing. If her bladder is filling up at least twice overnight, she is not producing enough hormone to supress urine production while sleeping.
She has got at least another 2 years before anyone will bat an eyelid at her not being dry.

Thanks addicted I think you may be right but prior to the summer holidays she used to sleep thru the night. I can only assume that the waking is linked to wee as the pull up was warm so I think she's uncomfortable. I'm going lift her tonight at 10 and see what happens at 3, she has called me at 3 before prior to weeing. I just think if she gains enough confidence to pop out of bed & do a wee & go back that will be great for her ( and me and dad too). Going to carry on til weekend and review!!